Oprah and the Challenges of Leaving Home

In case you haven’t heard me blathering on about it, I’m off to Los Angeles tomorrow morning to spend three nights in Hollywood. Through luck or some rare convergence of the cosmos, I have tickets to Oprah’s Post Oscar Party at the Kodak Theater.

My first thought when I first found out I was one of the winners of the ticket lottery was this: how am I going to be able to stay up late enough to attend a Post-Oscar Party? This detail reveals the sad state of exhausted parents around the globe: midnight is late. Further reading revealed that it was a morning-after party, where Oprah interviews all the major winners. I can be awake at 5 a.m.; I’m a mom.

So, tomorrow morning I’m heading to Tinseltown, as is my sister, and we’re going to meet up in Hollywood. And, if the stars are once again aligned, I hope to be posting regularly in this brief Ironic Mom Goes To Hollywood series.

After writing 10,000 words of report card comments earlier this week, today produced some non-work problems.

Here are a few of the middle class challenges that have befallen me today:

• Delta canceled the flight my sister was to take; of course, they announced this only 18 hours before it was scheduled to leave. Somehow I doubt they needed the plane in Libya, but they clearly didn’t want it in Winnipeg. After two frantic hours, she found another flight.
• The Air Canada website refused to print my boarding pass for three hours. This caused me to fast-forward to the worst case scenario: my ticket was a sham. Of course, it eventually printed.
• Vivian sobbed when I tucked her in. I had to rock-a-bye her five times and give her a picture of me with roses in my hair. Meanwhile, William had two toothbrushes in his mouth, was singing the ABCs, and was hopping on one foot. I can’t make this stuff up.
• According to the list of rules, I have to wear something bright to Oprah’s shindig. This was emphasized again when Oprah’s people sent another email telling me our seats had been upgraded (I’m hoping to Colin Firth’s lap). Wearing something bright is a challenge when you have a black and gray wardrobe. The memorandum also states that white doesn’t count as something bright (note to self: leave wedding dress at home).
• L.A. is in a cold snap, but not in the same category as freeze-your-eyelashes-together weather here in Calgary. But still, I have no clue what to pack.
• I was checking out some of the best places to go star-gazing (and I’m not talking about the Big Dipper). Later, I went to get a pedicure, even though I’m not packing sandals, and I looked through six People/Us/Hello magazines. The only stars I recognize are the ones over forty.
• I decided to pack our small camera, which turned into a ninety minute scavenger hunt for batteries, cords, and the actual camera, followed by a two-hour charging session. I have enough power cords packed in my carry on baggage to hang all Seven Dwarfs, and possibly Snow White too.

I’m hoping to tweet and post daily from Hollywood, but I won’t make any promises. Sometimes I’m befuddled by technology; tonight, for example, I am having trouble with the invention of the button. I have to sew one onto my spring coat, and this household task is one my husband usually rescues me from because I have the finger dexterity of a dog.

See you in SoCal.

Photo adapted from burningkarma (cc) Flickr