This Monday, I present to you:
The Flippant Parent’s Guide to Optimism
You know you’re an optimist if you…
- Get out of bed on Monday morning. Or any other morning.
- Let your child use glitter.
- Believe that your children will one day move out of your house.
- Think your laundry bin is half empty.
- See an empty wine glass as an opportunity to open another bottle.
Your turn:
What would you add to The Flippant Parent’s Guide to Optimism?
Your kids will take out the garbage without being asked.
I’m even amazed if my kids use the garbage
….if you really think your teens will do their laundry/dishes/tidy their room/bathe (need I go on?) without being reminded a bajillion times.
I too have a Masters in Repeating Myself
You can come up with a meal that all of your children will eat. Please don’t smash my illusion of #3 coming true.
Food. Definitely.
It may be Monday morning, but the weekend is only only 5 days away!
Truth.
You may be an optimist if you believe those hours you spend not sleeping are productive ones…
So true, Heather!
You’re an optimist if you assume the silence in your children’s bedroom means they are playing together well…or at least that no emergency personnel will be required to clean up the mess.
Ha. Indeed. Dear 9-1-1: I haven’t heard my kids…
Feel like you won the lottery when there is enough 2-day-old coffee left in the coffee maker for a morning pick-me-up. (I swear that didn’t happen this morning. Heh.)
I’m an expert at microwaving tea 29x per cup.
Definitely using glitter. Brilliant.
The road to hell is paved with glitter.
You know you’re an optimist if you…
– think “his/her teacher wants to have a word with you” just to tell you how proud you shoud be
– are sure that an F in maths means he/she is gonna be an amazing artist
– look at the shining sun and hope his/her football/soccer uniform won’t be muddy, this time.
The phrase “a word with you” sends shivers up my spine.
Umm..I just need to know if that picture is of cookie dough on the floor. Because that is a tragic waste of cookie dough. So sad….
Also, you know you’re an optimist if you believe her when your daughter who comes down the stairs wearing ALL white says, “I won’t get dirty today, Mom. There’s no mud, it’s covered in snow.”
Uh huh…
Oh. White clothing. And yes, that is our baking cookie disaster (from 2y ago, I think)
Believe other family members will one day find the laundry basket and make the correct decisionfor themselves what belongs in it.
That had me laughing.
You know you’re an optimist if… you think that Philosophy degree will lead to a job outside the fast food industry. No, no. To a job. Period.
Would you like to supersize that comment, Jung?
If you believe your child when he/she tells you that following a BFA curriculum and blogging weekly will pay off.
Ha! (and wince…)
if… every morning you wake up you believe that today might just be the day that your children will decide to listen to you….. is that optimism or delusion?
Good point. I think most of these border on delusional.
Glitter! Ahhhh. Worse than stickers or loud toys! I think I’ll have another glass of vino!
Cheers! Or, Skoal (as my relatives say…)
Reblogged this on OUR LIFE IN 3D and commented:
Here is another list from the funny lady with kids, the Ironic Mom! ~ Can you add to the list of signs representing an overly optimistic view?
You know you’re an optimist if you… expect your child to not be working on the weekend’s homework assignment ten minutes before they leave for school.
Ha. Or doing a blog post more than a day before it’s due…
You know you’re an optimist if you believe your children won’t need counseling.
PS Thanks for the Monday giggles.
Yes. Counseling. Do they have family rates?
But they DO someday move out of your house! It’s a great moment.
O, to see it from the other side!
You know your an optimist when you look at the laundry and think it will clean it self. Along with your children will be more then happy to clean the apt and not make more work for you. *sigh*
The laundry! Hello, Sisyphus.
…if you think your children really cleaned their rooms (check under the bed) 🙂
I won’t dare check there.
You know you’re an optimist when…
The little computer in your car’s dashboard calculates there is only 27 miles of gas left in the tank, but you drive past an exit sign that cautions the next gas is 50 miles down the road because this exit doesn’t have a Sonic.
Thank god for AAA! 🙁
Oh no. My heart would have been pounding!
you’re optimistic if you think that your planned “I’ll get up early enough to do everything and get to work on time” theory is actually going to work on a Monday.
I’ve been trying to wake up at 5:30 AM for a week to write. I’ve failed consistently.
If you believe your children’s grandparents will stop giving you advice because your such a good parent.
If you believe the water never gets wasted during the 10 min hand washing.
If you believe this is the bath time where your 6 year old won’t freak out when you wash his hair.
If you believe you will only need one hat and set of gloves THIS winter.
If you believe someone else will walk the dog at 6 am or 11 pm.
The gloves! Where do they go?
If you believe that THIS is the year that you will be able to pay all of your bills and have money left over to buy furniture.
If you believe that tonight will be the night you won’t have to scold your children at dinner, and that they will clean their plates without any prompting.
If you believe that wine is good for you, even if it’s white.
If you believe that you have time after work to stop at the store, then the gas station, then the liquor store, and then get home to make dinner for the kids.
The bills. Sigh. The wine. Where’s the wine?
You know you are an optimist if…. you think that helping your children with homework is a great learning opportunity.
….you think that housework is a great form of exercise.
So so true.
I think some of these comments are as good as the post! Here’s my daily optimism “If you believe the baby will stay asleep if you lay her down in her crib so that you can get some work done”
Agreed! I love my readers…
And the napping myth. I remember that.
“If you decide to see the slices of cheese sticking to the back door window as a beautiful mosaic…as opposed to slices of cheese sticking to the back door window. And then you pluck them off and eat them.” True story. I think I’m pretty good at this optimism stuff. 🙂 LOVE this blog. I found you at Mom’s New Stage’s linkup. Great stuff!
You know you are an optimist if you think your young adult child will raise their children with values and without all their weird ways of seeing life!
You know you’re an optimist you believe your 14-yr old son when he tells you he will get up for school if you give him just “2 more minutes”.
Reblogged this on Mom: Committed and commented:
Everyone could use some humor…I found this gem while searching blogs 🙂
Reblogged this on Haute Mom Living and commented:
The true words of an experienced mom. Life is all about looking for the beauty even when it seems so far away!