Here’s an excerpt from my latest humour column in The Calgary Herald:
You know you’re a parent when you pray that your children allow you to sleep in. Until 7: 30 a.m.
Last Saturday my husband vacated the bedroom early to pursue his hobby of collecting other people’s useless crap, also known as rummaging through garage sales. I was in my typical sleepy state of sensory deprivation – earplugs in, blackout blind drawn, my entire body mummified under the covers – completely unaware that he’d left to partake in the 21st-century suburban ritual of swapping stuff from IKEA.
I wasn’t alone for long.
Click here to read the rest of The Diary of a Sleep-Deprived Mom.
And then tell me: do you sleep in?
Maybe I can live vicariously.
Running from Hell with El says
This was hilarious. I wish I did not identify with um every single freakin’ word in the article . . . bony knees, dinosaur breath and of course “sure you can play video games” all morning. And yes, mine woke me up screaming about sand in the bathroom. I don’t know which child woke me up; I don’t know how the sand got there; I don’t know which child brought sand into the house; and I do not want to know. But it’s too late eh?
Gloria Richard Author says
Leanne, put down your coffee or tea or dinosaur spit before you read this.
I am a morning person. I voluntarily get up when my internal alarm rings at…
Dinosaur spit swallowed? Good.
…when my internal alarm goes off at 5 a.m. This morning, it went off at 4:42. And, I wake up happy. Yes. It’s annoying to be around me in the mornings if you’re not a morning person.
Vivian and William are so fun! Perhaps I should start a Morning Mommy business. I could show up in what you consider to be the wee hours and let the kids entertain me while Mommy sleeps.
Off to work on my business plan.
David N. Walker says
You can;t go, Gloria. You’ve got a house to sell.
Stacy Green says
I’m excited when Grace lets me sleep in until 7:30. I wish I could get up when my internal alarm goes off. I fall back asleep and then wake up feeling worse, lol.
JM Randolph says
Loved this piece! I’ll play Scramble with Vivian as long as she lets me win.
Elena Aitken says
Awesome!! I employ the technique of, “when you get up you’re allowed to watch tv if you don’t wake up mommy.” This actually encourages them to wake up earlier than they normally would have since TV watching time is in short supply around our house. Then again…so is sleeping in. Win-win. 🙂
I’d also love to sleep in but my internal clock refuses to accept I have the summer off. So I’m up shortly after 7 a.m. Your twins do come up with random bits of humorous info. My favorite was about the dinosaur spittle. 🙂
I used to “daydream” about sleeping in and now that I can, I wake up at 5:30 with the birds…. what?????
Hilarious! Thanks for the morning laugh, Leanne!
My mom was very lucky with late sleepers… until she had her third child, lol! Both my sister Jodi and I can sleep like it’s no one’s business, but Brittany likes to get up at the crack of dawn, I’ve never quite figured that one out 😉 your kids sound fascinating – it’s probably less fascinating at 7 on the weekend though! Still cute for us to read, thanks for sharing.
julie gardner says
EVERY word of this is truth.
(Except I don’t think anyone is more absorbed than Snooki in a house of mirrors…)
David N. Walker says
I’m with Gloria and Susie. This morning I slept in until 5:10. No kid excuse either. Just me.
Jenny Hansen says
On the waking up front, it’s a mixed bag – Baby Girl wakes up at 5:30 and we’ve learned to just give the child something to drink so she’ll go back to sleep because Mommy is NOT a morning person. And once I wake up, I can’t usually get back to sleep easily.
If Hubby does the 5:30 am, I get to sleep until 7:30 or 8 am. If I do it, I feed her and then sleepwalk to the coffee pot.
P. A. Kuraasu says
Sometimes I am so tired with them…
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson says
Okay, so…THIS is where I was blessed. My son has always loved to entertain himself. Even in the crib, he wiuld play with his hands. Later, he discovered the magic of LEGOs and eventually he started taking phones apart. But we got to sleep! And it was good.
Now we hear him yelling about zombies and creepers at 8 am in our home office directly beneath of bedroom as he has discovered Minecraft.
If I can sleep until 6:30, that’s a good day. I long for the days when I would wake up go get the paper off the doorstep and then go back to bed and the whole morning would be gone a moment later. Now there’s just so much to do every day that it just seems like there is always something waiting to be taken care of.
Enjoy your time with them. Mine is at a sleepover tonight and will be at one next Friday night as well. Eventually, you will miss these days.
Hilarious. It’s not a problem in my life now except weekends like this when I babysit our two youngest grandchildren aka The Adorables, aged 3 and 4. So today, I hear ya!
I have no idea what you mean when you say sleeping in. You mean like…7 am, right? That would be heavenly.
Hilarious post! Have I told you lately you’re an amazing writer? You really are. So hilarious and amazing.
Alarna Rose Gray says
Leanne, even though I’m only an aunt, I really enjoy your posts! Now I’m going to have to ask my sister what’s her secret, because recently my nephew complained out loud that “he wished he had parents who didn’t sleep in all the time…” LOL! Me – thankful I can pretty much do what I like 🙂
mj monaghan says
Hmm, I thought I was over this when the last kid moved out last November, and then MLB decided we needed a puppy. Thanks Animal Plant, for the show Dogs 101!! So now I’m up at 6:15 am no matter weekday, or weekend. Gotta laugh, right?
mj monaghan says
Oh yeah, either I need glasses with a different prescription, or the Things are really blurry. 😉