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Leanne Shirtliffe

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When Kids Hate Movies

Our six-year-old twins are afraid of movies. Not let’s-cuddle-with-our-blankets scared, but full-on, we’d-sooner-lie-down-in-a-pit-of-snakes scared.

This is why.

First, we tried Ratatouille. Now, I love the crew at Pixar, but this is not a movie for kids; well, at least not for my kids. By the time the opening credits finished rolling, Remy was lost in the Parisian underground, having selected the sewer less travelled. While he drifted far from his family, mine moved closer: ninety-some pounds of kids piled atop me, pleading to turn off the TV. Because we aim for our kids to have as much screen time as possible, we forced them to endure the remaining eighty minutes.

Suffice it to say our twins have no problem with the willing suspension of disbelief.

Nothing like restraining your kids on the TV. Note the self-imposed blindfolds.

If you already think we’re stupid, keep reading. There’s more to come.

Next project, Stuart Little. I actually read the book aloud to my kids, and it seemed tame. So, I decided to borrow the movie from the library. Surely this movie night would be a success. After all, Michael J. Fox gives voice to Stuart, and there is no way Alex P. Keaton would frighten my kids.

Wrong again.

Whenever Snowbell the Cat and his posse entered the picture, William would go into a deep squat and jump up and down, screaming “No! Go Stuart! Go!” Then he’d start to cry, joining Vivian who was sobbing and wiping snot into my shoulder while proclaiming, “I don’t like this movie.”

Eventually eighty minutes passed, none too quickly for any of us.

The kids sprinted up the stairs the moment we stopped restraining them.

I looked at my husband. “Well, that was a success now, wasn’t it?” I said, unsheathing my sarcasm sword.

He pulled the disc out of the DVD player.

“I think we’ll have to wait a few months,” he said, “before showing them Full Metal Jacket.”

Indeed.

*

Any movie stories or phobias out there?

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: books, Full Metal Jacket, kids, Michael J. Fox, movie night, movies, Pixar, Ratatouille, Stuart Little

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lori Dyan says

    September 13, 2010 at 6:45 am

    My husband had to remove my hysterical son from the theatre after Wall-e left his friend the cockroach behind on Earth. He was, I believe, 5-years-old. At 7, he still can’t watch Harry Potter and needs to be on my lap for most other movies. My 3-year-old can handle pretty much anything…I’m sure she’d love to come over and watch Full Metal Jacket with you and your husband…

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      September 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm

      So glad to hear I’m not alone. If you lived closer, your 7yo and my twins could swap movie horror stories!

      Reply
  2. Goddess in Progress says

    September 13, 2010 at 8:43 am

    Interestingly, my 3-year-olds seem to handle movies pretty well. They’ve done OK through all of the Pixar movies we’ve shown them, including Finding Nemo. I can see them get a little tense, but they do alright.

    I’m hoping that doesn’t change, but I suspect it’s possible they might become a little more aware and sensitive…

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      September 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm

      I love Nemo, but I know the sharks would creep my kids out. Someday… Count yourself lucky!

      Reply
  3. Jen says

    September 13, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    My son, has no fear of movies. It is really is strange.

    Reply
  4. Ironic Mom says

    September 15, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    It’s nice. Really. Anything that lessens tantrums is nice.

    Reply
  5. Sandra says

    September 17, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    I have to say I’m with the kids on Stuart Little. It is kind of creepy to see a little talking mouse roaming through the streets in an electric car…

    Reply
  6. Chelsey says

    June 9, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    My kids (5 and 7) are both sensitive, but both love movies.

    Here’s a post I wrote about our experience watching “Toy Scary Three”: http://sowingdandelionseeds.blogspot.com/2010/08/toy-scary-3.html

    We just went to see “Hop” (you know the one about the Easter Bunny). I nearly had to flee the theater with my crying 7 year old because of some blow darts. Then my 5 year old took a turn later on in the movie. If only they would synchronize their fright a little better it would be so much easier on me…

    They have improved over time though… They actually both love Stuart Little and especially Stuart Little 2. You could try the same movie again and see if they might be more ok with the tense parts when they know the outcome of the movie…

    Reply

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