Yesterday, my kids had Hip Hop lessons at school. This interesting tidbit came out at dinner, after my kids pushed away their bowls of Thai soup and looked around for their favourite food group: chicken nuggets.
While I was slurping the coconut milk out of their rice, Vivian and William treated us to a Hip Hop demo.
Vivian was first to leap out of her chair (which she usually falls off of twice during dinner). She started showing us various moves, many of which share names with kitchen items, like the corkscrew and the coffee grinder.
“Mom, come do a teddy bear stand beside me,” Vivian said, inverted.
I used my teeth to sieve more rice and swallowed some coconut milk. Then I said this:
“Then do one in the living room,” Vivian suggested.
“Because I’m good at hurting myself when I do stupid things,” I said.
“Don’t say stupid, Mom.”
“Sorry.” I was unaware that I’d lost whatever authority I believed I possessed.
My husband explained, “Mommy hurt herself playing volleyball in a Santa hat.” Like we needed to hear that story again.
Vivian moonwalked back to her seat, and I slid the bowls of Thai soup rice back to the kids.
“Look,” I said, “I just don’t want to do a teddy bear stand tonight.”
“We’re supposed to practice them on our bed,” William said, surprising us by keeping the conversation on topic.
“On your bed?” I asked. My brain fast-forwarded to visions of broken lamps and collar bones.
“Yes, it’s soft,” William said. He jumped down from his chair. “Watch me do some Hip Hop.” He shuffled to some open space, and did some running-man thing.
Then he wiped out. As in a feet-in-air-butt-meets-the-floor spill.
Insert laughter. Lots of it. At William.
“And what move would that be?” my husband asked.
William picked himself off the tile and uttered the refrain used by all children whose parents laugh at them: “It’s not funny.”
But, darling, it is.
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday, so I ask:
What bizarre things have you heard or said recently?
(Happy Birthday, Mom. I didn’t send you a card again. But thank you a thousand times for teaching me to laugh at my kids. I learned from a master!)