It is my pleasure to present this week’s guest blogger. Gina Gennari is an English Professor, blogger, writer, and TV addict who is currently in the process of editing her first YA novel. She lives in Southeastern PA and is a mom to a chatty and cheerful two-year-old son, Jude, and to two sweet cats, Harry + Aggie. Though she misses sleeping in, taking long, luxurious afternoon naps, and going to the movies, she wouldn’t rather anything other than her current chaotic, happy life.
“How about the Black Keys?” he asks.
“Honey, I’m a little tired of the Black Keys. Is there something else you’d like to hear?” I say, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.
“How about Mumford and Sons?”
“You got it,” I say, tuning to track one on the album and turning up the volume.
I knew some day my son would start bossing me around, but I wasn’t prepared for it to happen at age two.
He sits back there in his car seat, singing along, pausing to point out every truck, excavator, dump truck, and bus along our route, happy until he decides that he’d like to listen to The White Stripes—like now.
Before the age of eighteen months, Jude didn’t have much in the way of opinions, aside from his disdain for tummy time, store bought milk, and socks. Except for the 27-pound stroller, the bulky infant car seat, and a bag filled with supplies we might need during a one-hour shopping trip to the mall, it was easy to cart him from place to place in that he was content to just sit/lay/sleep there while I did my thing.
I knew that some day, my baby boy would be more independent and would have his own ideas about what he liked and wanted, but as I mentioned above, I didn’t know those days would get here so soon. It started small at first. One afternoon, I rolled us towards the children’s section of H&M, and he said:
“No, no! Go home!”
What? I thought. No more shopping?! Has he gone mad? So, I bribed him with a pretzel, which ended up being one delicious distraction. Soon, though, the pretzel couldn’t satiate him enough. He needed to be entertained, and the gentle muzak piping through the speakers above wasn’t enough. He started asking for my iPhone, and because I am weak and love to peruse through racks of clothing at a leisurely pace, I agreed. Nowadays, it’s getting tougher and tougher to keep him in that stroller, but if he thinks I’m going to give up the mall, he’s not operating in reality.
Or maybe I’m not.
Recently, Jude decided that he doesn’t like the confines of clothes. In the heat of summer, when we’re just hanging out around the house, that’s fine. But when we have to go out in to the world, it’s a real problem. It began with his shoes. He’s never been much for them and didn’t wear them for the first whole year of his life, so it’s not a surprise that he thinks they are uncomfortable and unnecessary.
The minute he’s in the car—or in my arms, or safely seated in a high chair at a restaurant, or anywhere with his feet above the ground—he says, “I take the shoes off.”
It’s quite frustrating.
A couple of weeks ago, while trying to get him dressed for a quick but urgent trip to Target, he threw an epic fit when I tried to get him into his shorts. Every time I got a leg in one side, the other would come kicking out as he flailed, cried and yelled, “I no wear pants!”
“Jude! Please,” I pleaded, wrestling him into the garment.
I continued, “And you should be glad for that, believe me! Everyone wears pants, and you have to, too!”
It was a hard fought battle, with many tears and much anguish, but eventually, I came out victorious—if not a little frazzled/sweaty.
I don’t want to raise an entitled, ungracious child, but I also want him to feel loved and validated and to know that does have choices in this world. I get it; I’m stubborn to my core, but I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to compromise, and he will, too.
We’ll clash over things that are important—and some things that aren’t—but I am figuring out that when he throws a crying, meltdown fit if we can’t listen to the same Vampire Weekend song 40 times in a row, I should just bite my tongue, hit repeat, and dance along.
But wearing pants? That’s never up for negotiation.
Your turn:
What music did you listen to as a kid/tween?
Were you a shopper?
***
Also, this is the last day to win a copy of my book over at the Storymen Podcast. While there, listen to a pretty hilarious interview I did with J.R. and Clay.
My two year old also refuses to wear pants or shoes. Or listen to anything I want to listen to. Or just refuses to listen at all. Ahh kids are fun ( I heard somewhere that if you say it enough times, it might become true).
Kim, you’re so right. I sometimes wonder if he hears me talking at all, or if it just comes out as “blahblahblahblah”. Or maybe he just has a good tuner-outer.
My 2 yr old has become very opinionated and has learned how to remove his clothes. Aging myself, but I listened to whatever my mom played, like Pink Floyd – not Kidz Bop that I now find myself listening to…ug.
On one hand, you want them to learn to take off their pants (for training), but when they start, it just opens up a world of optional pants-wearing. Sigh.
I grew up listening to Glenn Miller and his style of music, but when I became a teen I branched off into the embryonic Rock’n’Roll which was peeking around the corner. Early rockers like Bill Haley, Fats Domino, and softly crooning groups now dominated. My dad would yell at me all the time to ‘turn that crap down’. Once I had kids, I understood what he meant.
My grandparents love Glenn Miller, and I always enjoyed listening to him (and that style of music) when they drove us places as kids. At least my son and I have the same tastes (now). In a few years, I’m sure that will change!
They may be small, but they have a lot of power. My 2-year-old son would not pee in the potty, but he certainly enjoyed peeing off our back porch. AARGH!
This is why I have avoided teaching him that he has the ability to pee outside. But, I’m sure he’ll learn it somewhere.
I have a 4 year old niece with a very keen ear when it comes to music which has improved since she was 2…when she was two, all you had to do was play the songs on the jukebox that were pink. From Pink to Katy Perry.
It’s funny how specific their tastes can be when it comes to music. I only wish we were similar in our TV viewing habits. I am nearing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse saturation.
I’ve heard ‘Itsy Bitzy Spider’ and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” until my head hurt.She’s really likes Phillip Phillips and Justin Timberlake now…both are AOK by me!
Never had this particular problem, but in my working career I had several bosses who acted like two-year-olds.
I hope this doesn’t mean that they also refused to wear pants.
No. Didn’t have that problem.
I think your two-year-old has pretty mature musical tastes. And also, pants are overdone.
You make an excellent point.
You’ve got a long way to go sister, so pick your battles. Wait a minute, who am I to talk – as I write this I am sitting on the floor of the bathroom of the B&B my 18 year old daughter and I are staying in. I am dropping her off at university tomorrow, but tonight she insisted on no noise and no lights!
There is an old saying that it’s easier to negotiate with a terrorist than it is with a two year old and we all know that some two year olds can be little terrors. Except for me of course. I was perfect! 🙂
I haven’t heard that one, but it seems about right!
That kid has great taste in music! 🙂
Great taste in music. Also, I agree pants are totally a pain, but a must in public!
Haha, yes! My 3 year old is a complete musical fanatic, but moves through his obsessions one song at a time. We have to THRASH it to pieces before we can move on. Right now he’s stuck on some Colbie Callait song (waaat?). You’re right – there will be so many important moments in life where taking a stand will be the right move, but we really shouldn’t sweat the small stuff (even if it drives us insane).
Winding road just took the words right out of my mouth! I was about to say the same thing. Jude ROCKS! 😉
I was just talking with friends about things that don’t even sound weird to say once you’ve had kids. My example was, “I said BRING ME THE PIG!!!!” He was fighting with his brother over a stuffed pig, and I’d had enough. 🙂
i just want to say that in our house i am always reminding my 2 year old that shoes are a thing. they need to be worn. you cannot take them off at the grocery store. the sand pit. starbucks. people wear shoes. it’s just the way life works and unless you want to be cast from society you’re just going to have to adjust. this particular child also decided on day 1 of her life that she only liked one song. just one. so we listened to it. over and over and over. it was the only way she wouldn’t cry in the car. she’s a stubborn one.
I love your blog…the name alone has me reading. I feel like I’ll be saying a lot of things I never imagined myself saying once my daughter gets older.
-thebrio.wordpress.com
Omg my 9 month old is the boss of my household!! Loool great music choices btw 🙂
http://www.laidbackmama.com
I grew up listening to the music my mother listened which ranged from The King to Rolling Stones, Beatles, ABBA….
Later I branched off into bands like Blue October, Disturbed, Three Doors Down, and seventies rock.
I hated shopping then and I don’t enjoy it much now (unless it’s anything BUT clothes). Our daughter on the other hand demands Daddy’s Girl by Red Sovine to play 24/7. If I don’t comply I usually wind up with her standing on my foot.
I thoroughly enjoy reading and relating to other moms and the joys of parenting. Thanks for sharing!