To understand my husband, you have to know he has an ever-growing tacky collection, including canned alligator meat, Chinese Revolutionary propaganda, and a Jesus toast maker.
Recently, he told me, “I have a surprise for you.”
I raised my eyebrows, choosing silence.
“You’ll get it tomorrow when you come home from work,” he said.
“Is this a good surprise?” I asked. Trust me, this was a not a stupid question.
He nodded. “Plus, it’s blog-worthy.”
My eyes widened. “But I only blog about disasters.”
He smiled.
~
The next day, I careened my little commuter car around the corner of our crescent. It didn’t take me long to see Chris’s surprise.
It was sitting on the driveway.
I walked into our house, shaking my head.
Chris sat in the arm chair, arms crossed. Smug.
“Well?” he said.
“I’m speechless.”
He laughed.
“Isn’t it freaking hilarious?”
“I guess so,” I said. “It’s ironic, I’ll give you that. I’m just not sure people will get the irony.”
“I wanted to get a subwoofer, too,” he said, “but I held back.”
“Good show of restraint.” I plopped myself onto the couch. “Maybe we should get a licence plate that says IRONIC,” I suggested.
“I don’t do vanity plates.”
“But you do flames on a minivan?”
He grinned.
“And the blue and white colours,” I said, “are they part of the irony? Leafs’ colours in Flames country?”
“Yup.”
“Well,” I said, “at least I’ll be able to find the van in a parking lot.”
What do you think?
How else should we pimp out our loser cruiser?
At least he was right in that it was blog worthy! LOL
I’ll add my LOL to that!
Cool! Might have to do that to my Flex.
Maybe my readers can get a bulk deal on ugly flames. 😉
Fuzzy dice – let there be fuzzy dice!!
Don’t tempt him, Meg.
It was more of a premonition 😉
nice looking ride 😉
Hilarious! So the question remains…how long will the flames stay?? 🙂
Hilarious! Now the question remains – how long will those flames last?? 🙂
I love this. I totally think the vanity plates would be AWESOME.
Wow, now you just need the “Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free” bumper sticker, and you’re set!
Ha. Also known as, “how not to get my teaching contract renewed.” 🙂
and it’s so clean…
Yes. He “had” to clean it to apply the flames.
Spinners….
Your hubs is a funny man. Although, it might be just a wee bit too cerebral for the mini-van set. Be prepared for repeated explanations.
He’s already surprised at how few people get it. Sigh.
LOL I hope those flames are “peel and stick”. Next he could make it a low-rider.
His dream is to have a low rider. #ThingsIShouldHaveKnownBeforeIMarriedHim
Ironic . . . AND hilarious!
I’d drive this minivan.
awesome. I would kill him, but its awesome nonetheless!
Can I hire you?
lol
Do they have stick figures that are throwing gang signs? Those could help.
Ha!
lol A definite blog worthy moment. If your husband a leafs fan? My friend recently send me pictures on FB where she painted the tire rims on her ride blue and white. Needless to say it definite made them stand out but it’s made her popular whenever she goes to Toronto. As for additional decorations hmm ever thought of bedazzling the steering wheel?
He’s a big Leafs fan. And Raptors. And Jays. Basically, if he cheers for a team, it loses. But he’s a loyal one.
Now that’s a luxury ride! Love the sense of humor! And really he’s driving publicity for your book!
I think it could use a luggage rack on the top…blue OR white.
For him to take his half of the stuff? 😉
It would certainly reflect his undying devotion…
I like your husband.
Gotta get one of those big honkin’ tailpipes. And an extra spoiler stapled to the back hatch.
Thanks for planting ideas in his head, Larry.
I want to try the canned alligator meat.
It’s from Thailand…
Just for the record: those flames are a tribal pattern that I had to order from Magnet America. It seems our neighbours to the south are light years ahead of us in both personal use assault rifle and auto magnet flame technology.
Irony strikes again.
I’m glad that you opted for the auto magnet flames rather than the personal use assault rifle. Do they also have pink leopard print seat covers? Because that would be magical. 😉
blue lights underneath ?
Ha. Is that big in Indonesia?
I think it’s bigger in Thailand, but yes!
Fantastic. I almost want some for myself.
I hope you like blue and white.
I can live with that.
bobble head dog on the dashboard…..
Cool! Well, ‘hot’, given the temperatures things usually are when they’re blue and white…
always knew cj was a flamer! I remember the magic performed on the merc!always in moderation!
Maybe a siren?
Or hydraulics?
If you drove up to the park, unloaded a bunch of kids, I would be your friend for sure… Probably even offer you some flamin’ hot Cheetos!
Wow. Words escape my mind. I hope this is HIS daily vehicle. Because mini vans are cool enough to start with. I love that he did it, knowing you would want to blog about it (since its ridiculous). So the main goal was flames ala Calgary Flames in Toronto colors? That was well thought out, but maybe needs a caption underneath.
I love this.
I LOVE it! And you so need “Ironic” vanity plates.
I’d kill him. 😆
Just bloody awesome…
I only have to read this post to know I have to follow your blog. Hilarious. Something I’m sure my hubby has thought of more than once.
You reacted much more nicely than I would have. You’re a good wife. And the IRONIC vanity plate would be epic.
I like the blue and white, but I’d go for that vanity plate.
At least he let you keep your van – I came home to a “surprise” once and my husband traded in my mini van for a truck!
I’d suggest a DIY bumper sticker from zazzle that says “My husband is responsible for the flames.”
At least it’s more creative than the family stick people. I definitely agree that finding your vehicle will become infinitely easier! 🙂
Truck nuts. Definitely truck nuts.
Uhmm…this is pretty fricken AWESOME!! My guy hates minivans and swore to never drive one. My dream vehicle has always been a minivan (weird but true.) Guess who’s driving the minivans on weekends now? While don’t have flames one the sides we do have my name in blingy letters on the back!