- I can’t give you my bank number, I just emailed it to a guy in Nigeria.
- We’re busy eating “Gangnam Style.”
- Have you thought about exciting marketing opportunities with Tupperware?
- Sure. Can I put you on hold while I go to bed for the night?
- I’m doing a crossword. What’s a two-word phrase for “leave me alone”? So far I have _et Lost.
- Let me give you the number of my friend, Tim. He’s totally interested.
- Areway ouyay uentflay inway Igpay Atinlay?
- Can you describe to me what you’re wearing, big boy?
- Ahem. Ahem. Does my throat sound infected to you?Â
- What’s the weather like in Mumbai?
What would you like to say to a telemarketer?
I always love the old stand by from Seinfeld too, where he said, “I can’t talk right now. Can you give me your home phone number, so I can call you back later!”, lol!!!
I forgot about that episode! Love it.
LOVE the Seinfeld line, too!
When they ask me “And how are you this evening, Ma’am,” I always lead with “Ay, my lumbago.” By the time I’ve reached “yeast infection,” there’s usually dead air. Once I asked Marco from a certain cable company that shall remain nameless if he had a good recipe for cauliflower. He did! And it’s actually pretty good.
This is when I wish I wrote fiction…
I always say, “I am on a Do Not Call List. How did you get my number?” They always hang up!
Sigh. We’re on that list too…
I especially like the P(g Latin.
Esyah!
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oh, and this was a funny post…
You made me laugh out loud again. The first one is my favorite!
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OMG! Number 8 made me snort wine.
Wine on a Monday? I like how you work…
I actually do this.
I say: I’m the babysitter. And I hope the [INSERT NAME] come home soon because the baby just pooped.
Someday, Social Services will come to my door. I just know it.
I am stealing this.
Enjoy.
Do you want fries with that?
And if the answer is “yes”?
I see your point….
Telemarketer with debt collected and I have a feeling answer may change.
Yes.
I have to say I like them all. Thought I’ve always wanted to give the phone to the 2 yr old I watch and let them have fun. I wondering how long they would say on the line…LOL
I’m worried my twins would have us booked on that Caribbean cruise…
Thanks for these, I’ve written them all down and posted them next to my phone ….
Ha!
“please hold your call is immportant to us
Good one. I think I should start answering my phone “Shirtliffe and Associates.” They won’t know I’m referring to the voices in my head.
Oh really….lol
“You reached the blind line for Homeland Security’s safe house. Do not leave your desk.
Mmmf..mmmf…good. (Background) then “We have your computer screen on remote. This is a major security alert.”
KA-SNORT on yours. Especially the gobble-de-goop.
Love these, Leanne. An agency I did donate to got greedy. They called for more money twice within two months. That’s when I stopped answering my phone. By the time the answering machine comes on, they’re gone. So I figure it couldn’t have been THAT important. Keep ’em guessin’.
I had a friend who used to say, “I’m really interested but can you hold on a second?” and then he’d set down the phone and see how long it took them to hang up. He figured it was a public service because they couldn’t be calling anyone else while waiting for him to come back!
I always ask if they are a real person. If they are, this throws them off a bit, but sometimes they aren’t, so I just like to know if I can hang up mid-sentence without being too rude. Assuming that asking that question in the first place wasn’t rude…