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13 Rugby Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't

It’s the Rugby World Cup, an international competition that lasts over a month, during which time I see my husband for about 27 minutes.

I have fond memories of the Rugby World Cup. I have heaps of overseas mates who are passionate about the sport. Much of their passion wore off on us, as we’d follow them to pubs or sit under tents in the desert and enjoy a pint or two. But to be truthful, rugby for me has always been synonymous with the haka, which I adore. (You’ll see why if you read to the end).

I understand most of the rules of rugby, but the terminology is sometimes lost on me. This is why, when I thought of this post title, I let my husband write it.

Courtesy of my husband, then, here are 13 Rugby Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren’t.

  1. The scrum screwed more than 90 degrees.
  2. The hooker is really dominating.
  3. Beautiful counter-rucking, absolutely beautiful.
  4. The offload went forward and in to touch.
  5. Enough with the argy-bargy.
  6. The loose head’s bind wasn’t tight.
  7. The referee has his arm out and is playing advantage.
  8. The inside centre keeps collapsing the maul.
  9. The touch judge spotted a high tackle.
  10. The fly half laid down a perfect grubber.
  11. Hands in the ruck is a no-no.
  12. Crouch…touch…pause…engage.
  13. The winger’s been coming inside his man all afternoon. (Special credit for #13 goes to our Kiwi mate, Grant)

My husband assures me that these actual sentences have been uttered in the World Cup with great seriousness.

The next one, though, is all mine.

14. That was a great haka.

 I’ll show you what I mean. Here are the All Blacks (a.k.a. New Zealand) doing the haka before playing Tonga a while ago. Listen to the crowd. Watch as Tonga begins the Sipi Tau before the All Blacks have finished the haka.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eGCsEQ15L4]

Yes, we women love a great haka.

And for those of you who like parody, here is Australia’s version of the haka.

Any phrases from other sports that fall into the If-You-Know-What-I-Mean category?

Filed Under: Finding Humor Everywhere Tagged With: blog, humor, Ironic Mom, Leanne Shirtliffe, mom, Rugby Phrases, Rugby World Cup, Sports humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. K.B. Owen says

    October 3, 2011 at 5:24 am

    Love me some male haka. Maybe those 0-4 NFL teams should adopt the haka to get their game on! And if they still lose, hey, at least the crowd had SOME entertaining moments.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:02 pm

      I might start watching NFL then. Other than at the Superbowl!

      Reply
  2. Catherine Johnson says

    October 3, 2011 at 5:31 am

    I used to live in NZ so I do miss all that. Only managed to watch one game. I must prioritize better lol. Funny post 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:03 pm

      Where did you live in NZ?

      Reply
  3. Trish Loye Elliott says

    October 3, 2011 at 6:22 am

    I love rugby. I used to play. Our team had a t-shirt one year that said. ‘Try by day and score by night.’
    Apparently, this is not an appropriate shirt for a 40 year old woman to wear when walking her daughters to school, as my hubbie told me. 😉

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm

      Serious ROFL. I think you should bring that shirt to SiWC. Okay, maybe that’s not quite the audience, but it’d be fun!

      Reply
  4. Karen Moret Harrison says

    October 3, 2011 at 7:00 am

    Baseball baddies:
    Toeing the rubber
    Backdoor slider

    And then there’s the shuttlecock in badminton. We have a winner!

    Reply
    • Karen Moret Harrison says

      October 3, 2011 at 7:03 am

      Oh! And I loved the haka and the Sipi Tau. I have never heard of or seen either of them before. I just spent 30 minutes on youtube watching both. Like I need another obsession.

      Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm

      Karen. I am dying!

      Reply
  5. BrainRants says

    October 3, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I think playing rugby against a team with Samoans or Tongans would possibly be the most painful thing I could think of to do. Scary, even without a haka.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:05 pm

      Agreed. Those are big boys.

      Reply
  6. Larry Hehn says

    October 3, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Oh, haka! I thought you said hookah…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:05 pm

      Word association: haka, hookah, hooker, hockey

      Reply
  7. Hi, I'm Natalie. says

    October 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    The last time I saw an All Blacks game live, I was in the front row at the Christchurch stadium with an excellent view of the haka! (Frances quite liked the “rug-ah-bee” video. Cheers for that!)

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      “The last time I saw an All Blacks game live…” I’ll say that some day!

      Reply
  8. Life From the Trenches says

    October 3, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    Where have I been? Why is this my first introduction to haka? Thank you so much. I’m fascinated.
    “The hooker is really dominating,” is my favorite. Hmmm … wonder what that says about me. Off to google haka …

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:07 pm

      Happy ogling. I mean googling.

      Reply
  9. EllieAnn says

    October 3, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Enough with the argy-bargy. LoL! This was funny.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:07 pm

      Argy-bargy. It’s like a kid’s book should be titled that.

      Reply
  10. Renee Schuls-Jacobson says

    October 3, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Wow, it’s humbling to know there is something i know absolutely nothing about. Nothing. Seriously, that was like you were speaking in tongues. Love the Haka. Fascinating.

    Good to know there are Rugby Widows.

    I’m a Golf Widow. It’s all about the hole, IYKWIM.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:08 pm

      Speaking in tongues seems to be its own IKYWIM…

      And suddenly golf seems like a game with a clear purpose…

      Reply
  11. thoughtsappear says

    October 4, 2011 at 8:09 am

    I’ve never seen a rugby game, but I think I’m going to start watching now.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:09 pm

      I just usually stay for the haka. Then I leave. 🙂

      Reply
  12. julie gardner says

    October 4, 2011 at 8:40 am

    I have to say, number 3 makes me want to play rugby.

    Just so someone might one day say to me, “Beautiful counter-rucking, absolutely beautiful.”

    A girl can dream…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:09 pm

      Yes, umm, counter-rucking. 🙂

      Reply
  13. Elena Aitken says

    October 4, 2011 at 9:37 am

    I’ve never seen a rugby game either, but I gotta say…that clip may have turned the tides.
    Also, Trish….I cannot stop laughing about your shirt and the image of you wearing it to the school.
    ha ha

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm

      Don’t you think Trish should bring that tee to Surrey?

      Reply
  14. Marianne Hansen Rencher says

    October 4, 2011 at 10:29 am

    I think I”m just going to memorize three phrases and use them in all future sporting events.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm

      Brilliant. Let me know how it goes with your tap teacher. 🙂

      Reply
  15. Pak Liam says

    October 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Great one, Leanne. (You might like Roy and HG, you commentated on the olympics)

    Reply
  16. Pak Liam says

    October 4, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    whoops, I meant to type ‘who commentated…”

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 8:29 pm

      #$%6 typos, eh? 🙂 I’ll check on the commentary. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  17. psychodynamom says

    October 4, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    love it!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 4, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      Thanks. It was almost too easy. 😉

      Reply
  18. forbiddenhero says

    October 4, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    This is quite possibly the best thing. I’ve read all day.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:50 pm

      🙂

      Reply
  19. Liz McLennan says

    October 5, 2011 at 6:39 am

    This is AWE.SOME, as I have some rugby-happy friends, too.

    Argy-bargy – is that Swedish for “chuck the ball?” Oh, SO funny!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:51 pm

      It does sound like something the Swedish chef would say, doesn’t it? 🙂

      Reply
  20. Niki says

    October 5, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I played rugby in high school … I was the hooker. Also, I had a part-time job as a clown for a hair salon ($4.99 haircuts!).

    Bad combo. My friends used to introduce me as a hooker who stood on street corners with heavy make-up, yelling at passersby.

    lol … still cracks me up.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:51 pm

      I am cracking up too. Oh, how fun. A hooker!

      Reply
  21. Tamara Out Loud says

    October 6, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Gosh, and I thought football was exciting with all the penetration and the motion in the backfield.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

      Well said, my friend.

      Reply
  22. Sonia G Medeiros says

    October 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Oooh. Nice haka. 😀

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

      I know what you mean…

      Reply
  23. Matthew Wright says

    October 11, 2011 at 4:22 am

    Great post! And there’s another rugby word of the ‘ooer, sounds a bit rude’ variety, currently on a poster in an underpass I use most days out of the Wellington railway station (about 200 metres from the stadium where the RWC games are held). Thruck. It’s when three people get involved in a ruck. Apparently.

    The story I’ve heard is that the origins of that haka are also a bit – well, bawdy. While we always think of the pre-match song ‘Ka Mate…’ as ‘the haka’, the term is actually generic – in Maori culture, ‘haka’ means any ritualised song of defiance, often with pukana (staring and eye rolling). It is not a ‘war dance’ as such. The particular All Black one, ‘Ka Mate’ (‘I die – I live’) was reputedly written in the 1810s by the Ngati Toa chief Te Rauparaha, to free himself of shame and assert his mana (status) after having to hide from his would-be killers in a kumara pit, beneath a crouching woman, Te Rangikoaea. There are several versions of the story kicking around, including a suggestion that he was parodying a much older and rather rude song about a romantic encounter,

    Curious but, apparently, true!

    Matthew Wright
    http://mjwrightnz.wordpress.com
    http://www.matthewwright.net

    Reply
  24. The Hook says

    October 24, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Hilarious!

    Reply
  25. quirkywritingcorner says

    May 7, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Loved it!
    Although I got only 11 seconds of the Australian haka.

    Reply

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