I hate crafts. This is a problem given that my daughter is her own craft production factory. Thanks to her, we are first rate recyclers: paper, toilet paper rolls, and cereal boxes rotate from the craft table to the recycling bin with amazing fluidity. It might be cute if you’re a scrapbook person; if you’re not, it’s a nightmare.
Below, then, are 5 reasons I hate crafts.
Reason 1: Crafts Are Messy
Glitter was clearly invented by a child-free man or by a woman with a cleaning lady. I won’t even discuss the messiness of paint or Play-doh (though I will add that I know why Homer Simpson uses “Doh!” as profanity). And what is it with tiny hands that mean they must cut tiny pieces? When my son was three, one of his favourite tasks was taking a piece of construction paper, cutting it into microscopic pieces, and then using the hand-held vacuum to clean up a tenth of the mess.
Reason 2: My Finger Dexterity Sucks
I grew up in the 1980s, when small town fashion dictated that it was okay to wear several gold chains, all of which were as thick as a strand of baby hair. On my dresser every night, they’d weave into masses of knots, and I could not undo the mess. My father, a big man with bigger farm hands, could untangle them. It was then I realized I could never be a surgeon. Or Martha Stewart. Or a mom who’s good at crafts. For me, threading a needle is a whole morning’s work. Crafts? I know better. If you’re familiar with the kids’ show Mr. Dressup, I have the finger dexterity of Casey.
Reason 3: Crafts Are Rarely Age Appropriate
Why is it that kids rarely attempt crafts that they can complete independently? For her fifth birthday, Vivian received a dream catcher kit. It required weaving a net, threading beads, gluing feathers, and more weaving. More recently, over Spring Breakdown, we went to a bookstore for activity time (evidently reading is not enough anymore). There had been a misprint in the newspaper. I thought I was taking my kids to an Olivia tea party, but instead I (and about twenty other irate parents) brought my kids to bracelet making, ages 8 and up. I spent 45 minutes swearing my way through one bracelet. The other one is still undone.
Reason 4: Memories of Unfinished Rug Hooks
I received more than a few rug hooks for Christmas presents in my childhood. I never finished one. I think I got up to the beak of a brown owl one, but no farther. And how many two inch pieces of wool did my mom end up vacuuming?
Reason 5: Memories of Cheating at Home Economics
I was one of those good students: I did my homework, applied what I learned, and didn’t cheat. Except in Grade 7 Home Ec. My mom watched me knit one slipper (painfully) that would have fit Shaquille O’Neal; satisfied that I knew the skill (barely), she knit the second one for me. I still remember the comment my teacher gave me: “You showed great improvement.” Indeed.
So, my dear children, I apologize for not doing crafts with you. Add it to the list of items to discuss with your therapist.
I love scrapbooking with my friends more than using digital scrapbook software
I can see the appeal to scrapbooking with friends. Reminds me of the one time I was invited to a Stitch & Bitch club. I did some origami Xmas decorations, while the rest of the women drank wine. Crafting seemed to be optional – had I known this, I wouldn’t have been stressed…or productive!
Leanne – I’m so glad to hear this. I despise crafts, and thought I was the only mom who hid the craft supplies and impossible to complete kits the kids got for their birthday from other ‘high craft quotient’ moms. I like the idea of a craft (and love it when someone else does it with my kids), but I hate the actual doing of the craft.
The thing I hate about crafts the most is how useless they are. What am I supposed to do with the stuff after it’s completed? It clutters up my counter-tops and clogs my wall space. So many ‘crafts’ are just plain crap, and I have to wait a respectable amount of time before I can sneak them off to the recycling bin. Maybe it’s just that my kids are not that talented, but I’ve yet to find a craft worthy of framing, like I see so many other moms do. Sigh.
You nailed it: clutter just may be the number one annoyance of doing crafts.
I too hate crafts because i don’t have a talent on art and craft. I don’t know how to draw or design something.
Me neither!
I am definitely not creative – my homemaking skills are non existent. I can’t even figure out what clothes suit me let alone what matches what, colors, textures, styles etc for the home and beyond. At school needlework was a class I dreaded and I think my teacher did too – I remember my first project which was a four panel skirt. Simple? Not for me – I remember having to stand on the table in full view of the rest of the class whose skirts all looked fine while the teacher hacked off inch after each to get my hem straight. My (then) fashionable calf length skirt ended up a mini. However, so far I am loving doing crafts with my daughter – I don’t mind the glitter, the glue, the paint, the feathers, shells, play doh and everything else we use in our creations. We have an entire brick wall dedicated to her completed art projects. Yes, I have become that type of Mom – how did that happen?? What I’m worried about is when she gets a bit older, because at three I can keep up but in a year or two she will be stretching my skills and imagination to breaking point! Zipper weave?? Oh dear, I am going to be in trouble!
You are way more adventurous than me in the craft department. The art wall does sound cool. I take photos of my kids’ art so I don’t have to keep it. It preserves it in a way, providing I back up my photos…
I am totally down with number 3. I bought my 5yo bend-a-roos recently — total mistake.
Otherwise, I confess, I like what my girls used to call arts and craps. Not because I’m all that crafty, or good at them, mind you. I guess I just like watching them enjoy them. From afar when I can get away with it!
“From afar” – I like that. And I love “arts and craps.” I might shift it a bit more and call them arse and craps.
I used to love crafts, messy glittery crafts in my classroom, until I had kids and crafts meant having to clean-up myself. Needless to say now I know why the custodian never seemed to like me very much.
Yes, the clean up sucks. And glitter seems to stick very well to things other than the project itself: clothing, carpets, stuffed animals.
You know what?? THANK YOU for telling the truth.
I have to talk myself into arts and crafts. I know I need to do it, but it takes a pot of coffee, I tell ya.
Love your blog so far!
I’m going to follow!
You soooo don’t have to settle on crafts. There are other irritating things you can do with your kids that don’t make as much of a mess. I have built forts out of sheets and chairs, painted their faces (I have total control over where the paint goes), and made a trike parade with ribbons/streamer tied to their bike handle bars (the mess was outside AND contolled). I plan to blog about it but the twins don’t allow for me to post as much as I like lol. So yes, these things can be messy, but it cures your feelings of guilt without teeny tiny fragments of glitter and paper being strewn around your house and without cluttering up your space because there’s nothing to save.
P.S. I love doing crafts — don’t judge me too harshly 😀
Alexandra, a pot of coffee (or in my case, tea) = brilliant idea.
Mariah, I love your ideas on non-messy craft-like things. And today, my daughter played with PlayDoh and cleaned it ALL up. While I read the paper.
I like to draw with my kids…at least for 5 minutes, so there’s some hope. I also like the ribbon/bike idea. Thanks!
Crafts? Definitely have heard of them, but I’m not entirely familiar with the concept.
LOL.
I have one boy that likes to draw, but the other likes to ‘build’ stuff. And my little builder is forever asking for empty boxes, paper towel roles and construction paper to ‘build’ something. I let him have at it, and sometimes I even help. He made a pretty cool Ironman costume for GI Joe out of playdoh and aluminum foil 😀
The 2nd “R”: Nothing says “reuse” better than a kid with a toilet paper roll!
Somewhat sadly, for a person who believes in gender equality, I am secretly relieved we have a boy and hopefully that translates to “Let’s go outside and watch you run around the park in the rain,” instead of papier mache. That said my husband is an art teacher so … guess I don’t really have to worry!
I too was a tomboy growing up (perhaps that’s why crafts are vaguely foreign to me).Although my daughter loves crafts, she also loves sports. I am jumping for joy.
I do crafts, but I hate kid crafts. I’ll knit and sew and all that jazz myself, but I don’t have a lot of patience for explaining things and offering lots of assistance. I was a Brownie leader for years, and while the other leaders did lots of crafts with the girls, my schtick was to ask them to draw a picture about whatever we were discussing that night. Fire safety! Pets! Camp! Didn’t matter, all I had to do was provide paper and crayons and I was home free, baby.
I think that’s a great distinction: kid vs adult crafts. And you can’t beat drawing. The only craft I did growing up was colouring, and I did a lot of it!
I too hate crafts because they glaringly point out an area I completely suck in. I thought I would scrap book when my first son was born but I completed 1 page with his ultrasound photo and now the books site with photos tucked into it. Having a 2 and 3 year old makes me avoid crafts even more because neither of them can do much and I end up feeling like a teacher running back and forth while my 2 year old throws things that frusturate him. Ugh, crafts!
We are scrapbooking sisters. I have 3 pages done in each of my twins’ books. I figure that they’ll inherit a blog, so I no longer feel guilty. Thanks for commenting!
Ironically I am a crafter, and yet still I don’t enjoy doing them with mi kids. They go against my natural instinct for calm, clean and organized. Also my son has a mind of his own and his mind isn’t fond of following instructions.
I suppose crafts, like writing, can be “calm, clean and organized” when you do them by yourself…never thought of it that way.
I love your Blog! As for glitter…………………………..aaarghhhhhhhh I hate the stuff with a passion! I’m a contract cleaner and the site I ‘do’ daily is a children’s center-there is still glitter jumping out of the carpet from christmas 2008! No matter how often or how well you hoover-you never get rid of the evil stuff! It’s a cleaner’s worst nightmare to go into your site and find children have been having an art and craft session with glitter!
I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since i’ve visited lol. I “operate” Gingersnap Alley now because my old blog gave me the creeps. Anyway I said I had a special non-messy craft just for you and here it is. Again, don’t judge me too harshly lol.
Amazing Aluminum Foil Action Figures
hahahaha this is so funny – seriously, you should leave a letter to your children about therapy topics, when they are ready to leave the house…er, better when they hit 28 ish….”Mom hates crafts…SUCK IT UP!”
or whenever they feel they have to discuss this. LOL!!
Could. Not. Have. Said. It. Better. THANK YOU!!
Ha! I have mentioned this several times in my posts. I hate crafts with a passion, probably because I am so horrible at them. Zero imagination. Meanwhile, my mom makes freaking Christmas Bingo and word finds from scratch. Ugh.
I love arts and crafts!!! I’m the youngest, so I was always doing projects that were meant for much older kids, but it’s made me really good with my hands 🙂
i have always hated arts and crafts since i was a kid. I couldn’t stand to be forced to color cut out pictures. I remember that i would rather do anything else and i still feel that way.
Number 3 is your own fault – why would you get something for eight or above when your child is five. Duh!
I know this is such an old post but THANKS for speaking your truth! I too absolutely hate “crafting”. I want to love it, I love the idea of the project but actually doing it is a different story.
I would rather scrub my toilet than make anything that involves glue and glitter. }: -(
Bravo for being honest.
YES, I realise I am in the minority in this world but I also hate craft, actually I hate the product more than the time soaked up doing it, I appreciate artists in all fields and their talents and the things they produce, can sew and knit myself, but arrhhh, what do you do with all the ‘handmade’ stuff? I have heaved many a driftwood picture frame on the fire when no one was looking. I have kept a few if my kids pictures in the loft for them to have when they are older. The windows could do with a clean if they are that bored they need glitter, I have a whole list of jobs😂