It started as a perfect weekend morning. I was in bed drifting in and out of a sluggish slumber, Vivian was cuddling into my side, and William was seated between my feet. Some cartoon marathon that I couldn’t hear due to my earplugs was playing on the TV. Of course, if it starts as a […]
The Anti-Craft
Another Craft Disaster with Kids
Last week I received a notification. I grieved, all stages. First I denied it. Then I bargained. Eventually I accepted it. There was no way out: I would have to do a fifteen minute craft with children ages three to six. At church. * I ponder. It’s Lent. Shouldn’t these kids be giving up fun […]
More Epic Fail Parenting: Advent Calendars
I like to buy my kids advent calendars. I think it’s fun to count down to the gift frenzy known as Christmas Day, that glorious morning where a Parental Time Zone exists: thanks to our children, we’re up three hours earlier than any other person on holidays. I grew up with an advent calendar. We […]
Ode to Turning 6
Yesterday, Thing One and Thing Two turned 6. It’s hard to believe it’s been half a dozen years since those two slime balls were pulled from my womb in a Bangkok hospital. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I called the night nurse at 4 a.m. and said, “Can you take them […]
5 Reasons I Hate Crafts
I hate crafts. This is a problem given that my daughter is her own craft production factory. Thanks to her, we are first rate recyclers: paper, toilet paper rolls, and cereal boxes rotate from the craft table to the recycling bin with amazing fluidity. It might be cute if you’re a scrapbook person; if you’re […]
Activities for Children of Lousy Parents
Let’s get things straight. I’m not a Martha Stewart mother, one of those women born to parent. I am neither willing nor able to build a replica of the Taj Mahal out of items from the recycling box. In recent weeks, I’ve felt compelled to do something slightly more interesting with my children on Sundays […]
Gingerbread DysFUNction
It seemed like a good idea at the time. You know, in that same category as opening another bottle of wine or giving your phone number to the guy who’d later become your husband. It was a bit of synchronicity really. My husband saw a gingerbread kit at the supermarket. Then my neighbour – who […]