Vivian and William are taking skating lessons, as in the beginner, I-can’t-stand-up kind. They may be the only 6-year-old Canadians who don’t know how to skate, which is rather embarrassing since both my husband and I are rather proficient on blades.
I grew up on a farm that had two natural skating surfaces, a pond and a river. This idea of getting in a car to go for a free skate is a bit foreign to me. But the real reason my twins don’t know how to skate is that I’m lazy and intimidated by lacing up skates.
So, instead of sucking it up, I’ve taken a middle-class approach and paid someone else to do teach them.
Ten minutes before we have to leave for the first lesson, Vivian’s wearing her pink ankle socks which are the thickness of a handkerchief. I ask her to put on socks that are longer and thicker. She explains – rightly – that she doesn’t have any.
“Go put on a pair of William’s,” I say.
“I don’t want to wear his,” she says. “They’re boy socks.”
“No they’re not. Mommy has socks like that.”
Her eyes widen, her resolve stiffens. “People will think I’m a boy.”
“No they won’t.”
“Yes they will.”
“Vivian, you look like a girl.”
“They’ll see my boy socks.”
“No they won’t.”
“Yes they will.”
Vivian is ratcheting up to full freak-out mode: screaming, tears, and tantrums.
“Vivian, now!”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll look like a boy!”
“No you won’t. You have long hair,” I say, abandoning logic.
“They’ll think I’m a boy!”
It’s at that point I say this:
Vivian’s response: “No one will see that I don’t have a penis.”
Indeed.
And amen to that.
*
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday, so I have to ask:
Are there any wacky things you’ve said, heard, or witnessed recently?
I thought of you this week when I said said, ok screamed, to my son “You cannot sit on a chair when it is on top of your sister!”
Brilliant. Not to mention great life advice.
I have the same argument every day with Sophia about just putting on a pair of pants when it is freezing and raining. I’m going to go with the penis argument and see if it works.
Good luck – making it through these years with girly girls is oh.so.trying.
Good luck with the argument!
My son still can’t skate and he looks like he’s 12. Apparently water polo is big in Serbia and he’s a great swimmer like his dad (the Serb), but as I’ve pointed out, there are no Tim Horton’s commercials focusing on water polo. Love your penis logic.
At least your son can deal with water in its natural form. Mine can’t swim very well either. And maybe there should be a Tim Horton’s commercial on water polo…and lawn bowling and biathlon.
Cripes. I forgot that we have to teach the girl to skate. Eek.
Hire someone. 😉
“Indeed they won’t, and they won’t see your socks, either!” Ha!
This week’s is a great phrase, indeed. I love your Whiteboard Wednesday posts! Not sure if I’ve commented before, but I’ve been reading for a while now. Ah, kids. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to comment!
THAT is quite brilliant – her logic irrefutable 🙂 Love it! Thank you for making me laugh this morning.
Yes, 6-year-old logic. Though I think I use my own mom-logic sometimes (also known as manipulation).
LOL!
This morning I told my daughter that she couldn’t blow her brother.
In my defense, I had had no coffee.
ROFL. You need a pot of coffee after that!
You know, you shouldn’t make someone who just had a c-section laugh so hard. Meanie 🙂
Ouch. I remember the c-section pain…it was something I wasn’t prepared for. Thanks for commenting and may the sleep gods be with you…
As an anthropologist, I’d like to live in your house for a while and, you know, study you … in your natural habitat … ;-j
Too funny. Actually, my husband’s undergrad is in anthro.
You pack so much great stuff into such a short space! The quote alone is hilarious. Frustration is a muse eh? Here in Pittsburgh we have this superhero named Mario Lemieux. His mom always told the story about how they went to the pond for skating when he was 2 or 3. All the kids would skate around while leaning on a chair for support. Little Mario just started skating, no chair. I told my boy that story and asked him to try. He fell over, even with boy socks on.
Who knows…maybe Mario wore girl socks?