A frequent question I get asked is “Do your twins get along?”
As with most twin questions, there is no truthful answer to this. If I’m annoyed, I say, “Sometimes.” If I’m in a rush, I say, “Yes.” And if I feel like chatting, I say, “Like an old married couple.”
It might be a weird comparison, but William and Vivian do remind me of an old married couple. Here’s how:
- They’re not outwardly smitten, but there’s a quiet (and a not-so-quiet) sense of togetherness
- They can still find things to talk about even if they’re with each other a lot
- They’re comfortable with silences
- They know intimately what annoys each other and are often willing to twist that knife
- They blame each other for their own errors
- They comfort each other
- They can make each other laugh in a way no other human can
During our two week Spring Break, however, Vivian and William spent more time together then they’ve become accustomed to. They’re in separate all-day kindergarten classes, so they’re getting used to being apart. Or at least that’s my theory.
So, like an old married couple who’s seen no one but each other for two weeks, the annoyance levels are getting higher.
It’s William who’s been most vocal about this recently.
First, he told his sister, “I’m not inviting you to my birthday party.” Vivian immediately realized the implication of this as a twin and burst into sobs.
Then, twice in two days, William announced, “I want to sell Vivian.” He was serious.
And yesterday, he told her, “Give me my car back, or I’ll throw you outside.” He clearly has absorbed a few of my Manipulation 101 strategies.
So do they get along?
Today I’m saying sometimes.
I always though it would be neat to have a twin – a ready made companion of the same age. I get along pretty well with my brother, though I’m three years older. He’s a pretty funny guy. I have good memories of playing together when we were young and doing some fun stuff together when on vacations. I also vividly remember the time I cracked a mirror over his head and made him bleed. Not so good.
I laughed out loud at the mirror image. Hilarious – at least now!
Twins can be a hand full at times but they are very special to have.
That is so true.
I’m not a twin myself, and my two kids aren’t twins but both my parents are, and I’ve heard very similar stories about my dad wanting to distance himself from his sister or my mom tying her sister to a tree.
I love how you write about Vivian and William like an old married couple. That’s hilarious.
I have no wisdom or funny anecdotes to add, and it sounds like you’ll never be short on these yourself. But one thing I can mention is a new toy called the Pocket Referee that helps teach kids how to sort through many of their day to day conflicts on their own, quietly.
It teaches them delayed gratification and how to deal with conflict situations and because there’s something in it for them kids seem to embrace the idea.
It’s sold on amazon.com but the website is http://www.thepocketreferee if you want to find out more.
What an interesting perspective you have given that both your parents have twins. Love the story of your mom tying her sister to a tree. And I’ll check out the pocket referee. Thanks for the link.
I really love the comparison of your twins to an old married couple. My best friend from HS has identical twin girls who are now 20. I have spent lots of time with them including vacationing together with our families. They adore one another, except when they don’t. They are now in college, 45 min apart. They both felt they needed to go to separate schools, but some days they regret that decision. Unless you are a twin I don’t think we can understand what their relationship is truly like. But I am sure it is beautiful.
I think that’s a good point: most of us (including me) cannot understand what it’s like to be a twin. I really hope they grow up to be great friends…
Yes, I too love the reference to them being like an old married couple – they know and love each other so well but also recognize one another’s foibles. My sister is almost five years younger than me which when you are young is a big age gap to bridge – when I left home for University she was still just 13. So we were never really close. I think having a sibling very close in age or the same age at least gives an opportunity to grow up together and hopefully do so with more love than frustration 🙂
That’s a good point. The nice thing with twins is they’ve never known life without each other.
That’s the best line ever” “You’re not invited to my birthday party!”
I guess the comeback is “Well you’re not invited to mine!”
Sigh… so sweet..
I think it’s one of those stories we’ll be telling around the dinner table in 15 years. Remember the time William told Vivian she wasn’t invited to her party?
Loved this post, real life, funny life and sweet life all rolled in. I have no understanding of what it must be like to have twins, but seriously it’s kind of amazing.
Aww. So cute. That means they have the best relationship ever! 🙂 Right now, my boys (aged 4 and a half and 2!) are starting to really enjoy eachother’s company, playing together, running around, laughing… and, of course, fighting, yelling, screaming, crying at eachother.