Every time I walk into a pet store, a blog post writes itself and a unicorn and a T-Rex die in each other’s arms. One day last week,Vivian suggested that we go to the Pet Store. “You know,” she said, “the one that sells animals.” I learned that fact two years ago, thanks for reminding me. […]
family
When You Take Your Twins To Church…
I’m guest posting for my fab and sassy blog-sistah, Tamara Lunardo. Tamara is an amazing woman who writes beautifully about edgy issues, including sex, faith, and abuse. She’ll make you think. She’ll make you laugh. She also has twins and loves a juicy double entendre; I don’t think it’s cause and effect. Today, I’m honoured […]
When Your Twin Children Can Read Your Mind
The other day, Vivian told me that some of her friends have been arguing at recess. Being a good mother, I accused Vivi of being involved. After all, I’ve seen her and her brother go at it in some UFC mini-matches. “I wasn’t, Mom. Honestly,” she pleaded. “I just tried to stay out of the […]
Pregnant Women, and Eating with the Addams Family
It’s Friday, a day synonymous with going out, or– if you’re a teacher or a parent – with falling asleep in front of the TV by nine o’clock. Before you fall asleep, feel free to hop around to some of my recent writing around the web. Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist looks at the similarities between […]
A Fun Intrepretation of the Year of the Dragon
Gung Hay Fat Choy! It’s the Year of the Dragon according to the Chinese calendar. You likely already know a few dragons, and I’m not referring to your in-laws, either. People who were born in 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, and 2000 are dragons. Babies born in 2012 will also be dragons. I’m sure their […]
Family Vacations: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
What’s better than spending Christmas in Canada when there’s not enough snow to go sledding? Spending Christmas in Arizona when it has above average “winter” temperatures. Since you don’t come to this blog to read about unicorns (unless some catastrophe has befallen them – say, a guillotine), here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly […]
Send Your Child Scavenging . . . in the Dictionary
Alternate Title: Messing with Your Child’s Mind It’s Saturday night. Vivian has discovered the dictionary. She wants words to look up. I suggest clever. She looks it up, reads the definition, and smiles. My husband suggests geek, which isn’t in there. He throws out its slightly more popular cousin, nerd. A few words later, Vivian […]
When Kids Write Jokes
On Monday, Vivian and William went on a joke telling spree. Thankfully they seem to have slightly more talent in this department than their mother. After ten minutes of variations on the chicken-crossing-the-road joke, Vivian freestyled. VIVIAN: Why did the mommy cross the road? ME: VIVIAN: Close. Because she wanted to hug her children. ME: […]
Things I Suck At: Telling Jokes
There are a number of things I suck at. Doing anything crafty tops the list, followed by shopping and anything requiring opposable thumbs. Fourth is telling jokes. I recognize this is ironic-to-the-power-of-infinity given that I’m writing a humor book. I was reminded of this last night, when my husband and I were watching an episode […]