I think every parent of preschoolers should get an honorary degree. If celebrities from Orlando Bloom to Dolly Parton get bestowed with such honors, certainly parents deserve them too.
Amongst other feats, moms and dads are continually marketing items. Observe a mealtime involving preschoolers: you’ll find parents pitching advertising copy for the toughest clients imaginable: children.
Here are some recent sales pitches involving food that we’ve tried on our son:
Superman’s Special Ketchup (a.k.a. Spaghetti with sundried tomato pesto)
Son: I like my noodles with butter and cheese.
Me: These have butter and cheese…and some other things.
Son: It looks spicy.
Me: It’s Superman’s Special Ketchup
Son eats.
Perogies with Chicken (a.k.a. Potstickers)
Son: These don’t taste like perogies, they taste like Chinese food.
Husband: I don’t think the next one tastes like Chinese food.
Son, eating the next potsticker: This one does too.
Husband: The one on the edge of your plate tastes like chocolate.
Son, eating that piece: No, it doesn’t.
This pattern continued until all his potstickers were consumed.
Cucumbers with Attitude (a.k.a. Dill pickles)
Why I wanted my son to eat his day’s worth of sodium out of a jar remains a myth to me. But when I called the pickles “Cucumbers with Attitude,” he ate.
A Naked Hamburger (a.k.a. Meatloaf)
Once you say the word naked, you don’t need to say anything else.
Any successful sales pitches you use (or fell victim to as a kid?)
Diploma photo courtesy of gadgetdude (cc) Flickr
Once again, I’m poaching some of these… Cucumber with Attitude? Genius. But I still wouldn’t touch meatloaf with a bargepole, naked or not 😉
My son actually eats a bowl of ketchup with a side order of meatloaf.
“I’m sure Barbie eats avacado. Pretty sure, in fact.”
Hilarious. Though I’m thinking the fat grams may be a bit high for Barbie and may actually make her more proportionate.
My mother apparently had me convinced that cheesies were just grated cheddar cheese bits in a bowl. Is it any surprise that none of the other kids wanted to trade lunches with me? No, it is NOT.
I love “grated cheddar cheese bits in a bowl.” If my kids didn’t already know what cheesies were, I’d steal this.
Oh you are so very lucky – my daughter would not fall for any of these ruses. If it doesn’t look and taste exactly how she expects it to, in other words pizza or pasta, then no joy. You cannot persuade her to try anything new.
She’s clever like her mama, I suspect!
When I was six, I needed to take extra calcium. My Mum knew I was never going to take it if she told me I had to, so she put it onto the highest shelf in her room and told me they were hers and I was not allowed to take them. They were in a shiny golden box and they were sweet, so after ever lunch I would sneak into her room and eat one. Only one, ’cause I didn’t want her to notice. She knew me well.
I love this story. And you only ate one…lovely.
My then 6-year-old son wouldn’t touch stuffed green peppers until I told him they were monkey brains.
Monkey brains – you deserve a PhD in marketing!
OK – Bookmarked!
🙂
I have a couple of cooking with kids segments coming up….I might need to borrow the ‘with attitude’ concept. And very creative with the potstickers….you guys are good!
Let me know what you’re cooking – and please post clips. Any mangos this time? 😉
When Kid was small, we would assure him that Wendy had made this very dinner for Bob the Builder and that Bob had liked it so much that Wendy shared the recipe with everyone. “Builder beef,” “Builder broccoli,” and “Builder beets” became a big hit. (And yes, it also worked with food that didn’t start with B.)
It’s almost product placement for kids – love it.
Meals are tough in our house. I could write a whoel book! The chapters would include eating games, reverse psychology, fun with counting and cool names. Some highlights are:
-“Do not eat your chicken because I really liked it and I am going to eat yours when I finish mine”
-Show me how a dinosaur eats (and every other animal imaginablae)
-I bet you can’t count all the bites you can eat!
-Turkey Lurkey – chicken and stuffing the slow cooker.
Way too brilliant. And you should write a book! I am going to borrow “show me how a dinosaur eats”!
We call oatmeal “Dinosaur Food” so my boys will eat it. When they discuss dinosaurs in the future they will be confused by the fact there were no “grain-asourasus” who lived off of Quaker Oates.
OMGosh, you’re great! After reading this and “Children, Swearing and the Middle Finger” (my first view into your blog), I can say that I’m hooked! And your “Thing 1 & Thing 2” pictures crack me up! I can’t wait to read your other posts… but it’ll have to wait till later because it’s supper time and I’ll have to coax my daughter into eating… AGAIN!!! I’ll be using your “SuperMan” trick… but I’ll just say Dora instead… she’s only three and isn’t into SuperMan just yet! :o)
one of my friend posted the link your blog on FaceBook and I must say I had the least productive day at work today 🙂
I have been reading posts one by one and this one made me stop and put a comment. You guys have put your creativity to the best use! Your feeding cheats reminded me of Calvin & Hobbes, monkey brains and sugar bombs 🙂
I tell my kids that potatoes are the cousin of french fries. It doesn’t entice them to eat their potatoes, but at least they know a bit more about french fries now.