A little fictional word play for you this Monday before Christmas. Enjoy!
I’m sorry I wasn’t naughty enough this year. I didn’t even get to the mall to
do a little lap dance sit on your lap. I’m sure your endless shifts have made you sick of kids kicking you, asking you for every toy in the catalog, and drooling all over your outfit. Kind of like being a mom.
I’d really like my own fleet of elves, Santa. Not more children; I’d like some pointy-eared cuties that will listen to me. If you can’t bring me men in tights, I’d like a power tool. I’m not referring to my husband.
And Santa, I’m sorry I’m unable to leave you a glass of milk. I stopped breastfeeding years ago.
P.S. If you think you have it tough with all your deliveries, try giving birth.
Have you been naughty or nice? What would you like for Christmas?
As always, fiction, sarcasm and satire are welcome.