• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Leanne Shirtliffe

Poetry | Humour | Picture Books

  • Poetry
  • Humour
    • Don’t Lick The Minivan
    • Mommyfesto
    • Ironic Mom Blog Archive
      • Search
      • Start Here
      • Finding Humor Everywhere
      • Hilarious Family Moments
      • Un-Ironic Moments
      • Wild Gen X Tales
      • Full Archives
  • Picture Books
    • Sloth to the Rescue
    • I Love Sharks, Too!
    • Saving Thunder the Great
    • No More Beige Food
    • The Change Your Name Store
    • Guides/Activities
  • About
  • Contact
    • General Inquiries

Parenting According to Twitter

I think Twitter knows more about my parenting style than anyone in real life does. There’s nothing like putting the fun in dysfunctional in a public forum. Here are some of my parenting tweets from the past month.

(If you’re not on Twitter, here’s a key. DD: Dear Daughter, DH: Dear Husband, 7yo: 7-year-old)

Chapter 1: Food That’s Bad For You


Chapter 2: Sleep, or Lackthereof


Chapter 3: Activities That Are Supposed To Occupy Your Kids So You Can Tweet

Chapter 4: More Bizarre Than Norwegian Curling Outfits


What weirdification went on in your summer?

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: funny, humor, humour, Leanne Shirtliffe, mom, parenting, parenting on twitter, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. EllieAnn says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:45 am

    DID the Hot Wheel change color?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      LOL. Not the colour William anticipated…

      Reply
  2. Smplefy says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:48 am

    More importantly, what color did he want it to become?

    Thanks for the morning life.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      Some things are better left unasked. Most things, actually.

      Reply
  3. Susan says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Re: sugary breakfast cereals….trying to get my kids off Fruit Loops after eating them at the hotel every morning while on vacation is tougher than I thought. I’ll say it again, kids: WE DON’T HAVE ANY.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:32 pm

      My friend left a box of Frosted Flakes here. I gave them to my kids for dessert.

      Reply
  4. Tamara says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:52 am

    I so enjoy your children and your personal brand of parenting. This was my morning kid tweet:

    One of my 2-year-old twins said, “I want more ice.” The other said, “Ice, ice baby.” My children do not lack for 90s pop culture.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:32 pm

      Your two-year-olds are tuned in. Mine sing along with Gaga. Don’t judge me now…

      Reply
  5. journeytoepiphany says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:57 am

    Your tweets are the best! Keep ’em coming!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:33 pm

      Thanks!

      Reply
  6. educlaytion says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Leave it to you to reference Norwegian curling outfits. Can’t blame your son though as some toilets have been known to hold magical powers. Or fruits.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      I am half Norwegian, actually. I can even make lefse. But my pants are not Norwegian, I assure you…

      Reply
  7. Svannah says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:48 am

    What ever happened to Whiteboard Wednesdays?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Aha! So glad you asked. They’re coming back the first Wednesday in September!

      Reply
  8. JM Randolph says

    August 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    “If you stop asking me, that’d be 0”. That’s pretty funny. I hope you get a chance to use that against her in the near future.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:37 pm

      Good point. I think I need to make that line a part of the family lexicon.

      Reply
  9. Karen @ Time Crafted says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    I’d be frightened if I looked back at old tweets. But, since you asked and I *just* tweeted, how about, “DD just brought me a #PotatoHead with no arms and lips & teeth growing out the hole where there should be ears. #shouldibeworried” But, both Potato Heads are accessorized, coordinated, and now talking to each other…..but, oh the teeth where ears usually go. Yes, worried.

    Our summer has been full of adventure that would make great fiction, except it’s non-fiction. Oh my.

    Thanks for the laugh! :>

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:38 pm

      I may now have Mr. PotatoHead nightmares. Am I the only one who thinks he’s creepy even when put together properly?

      Reply
      • jedwardswright says

        August 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

        Did you know that Mr. Potato Head originally was only the plastic stick-on parts in a bag? It was meant to use on real vegetables and fruit. Mr. Eggplant Head anyone?
        Mother Hen

        Reply
  10. Annie says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    The toilet thing brought back memories. Speedy, at age 4, made his lego pirates walk the plank into the toilet and then flushed them down. He was mighty sad to learn that mommy could not retrieve them. Lesson learned: flushing is permanent.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:38 pm

      That is a hilarious image. (And I’m now singing the Backyardigans’ “Make Them Walk the Plank” song. Because I’m that hip.)

      Reply
  11. Renee Schuls-Jacobson says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    I love the way you parent. You parent like a relaxed parent. Like you wouldn’t even think about dipping your child in hand sanitizer after the whole toilet thing.

    You so chill. 😉

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      I wasn’t always so chill. But when William was 8 months old, I caught him sucking on the stroller wheel in a carpeted airport in northern Thailand. I relaxed after that.

      Reply
  12. Wendy Lawrence says

    August 25, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    My 3yo has discovered that little brothers are much more fun than play dough and can be used in pretty much the same way. Hopefully he won’t soon start treating him like a Hot Wheel and dunking him in the toilet…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      I’m laughing. Two images!

      Reply
  13. Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos says

    August 25, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I see toilet dunking in my future.

    My son had a bad dream a few nights ago where some girls were shrunk and flushed down the toilet..

    Then I had to explain why he couldn’t “die” his sister like the Joker.

    Nothing like a chat about the permanence of death while sitting on the playground.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      August 25, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      From A-Z in three minutes! I love those conversations…

      Reply
  14. torcon1 says

    August 26, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Sounds like expert parenting to me!!! You and your husband rock!!

    Reply
  15. The Good Greatsby says

    August 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I’m intrigued by the squishing-your-head game. I imagine the rule book is pretty short, right?

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

© 2005–2022 · Leanne Shirtliffe / Ironic Mom ·