Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve read a number of blog posts that refer to showering.
- Kelly from Dances With Chaos blogged about her 18-month-old being booted out of her gym’s childcare. This unjust suspension took away Kelly’s only chance of showering.
- Larry from Christian in the Rough mentioned that many of his best ideas come to him in the shower.
- Clay from Educlaytion blogged while showering. It’s a video of him talking in the shower. Think Ferris Bueller.
In the synchronicity that is life, I too have been thinking of showering, mostly because it’s something I’ve been unable to do without being interrupted. For six years.
If you have young children, showering is a luxury.
When my twins were newborns, showering required logistical preparation that would impress most army generals. There were issues of timing, clothing, equipment, and alertness. I lugged two bouncy chairs into the bathroom, disrobed, and showered in under 3 minutes. Vivian and William generally screamed throughout their daily sauna.
Now that my kids are in Grade 1, showering is supposed to be easier, but it’s not.
Here’s what happened this past weekend.
I’m showering. Vivian is sending my mom a message on Facebook. William is writing a story to prove that Vivian’s not the only kid who writes in this house. My husband is out.
I’ve just wet my hair when the bathroom door opens.
“Mom?” Vivian asks, “How do I send the message to Grandma?”
“Are you bleeding?” I ask. I had previously instructed my kids to open the bathroom door only if they have an open wound.
“No,” Vivian answers. “But there’s no ‘send’ button. Is ‘reply’ the same thing?”
“Yes,” I shout.
“Shut the door!”
I have a nice lather going now. I’m finding zen. The door opens.
“Mom?” William asks. “How do you spell guess?”
“Are you bleeding?”
“No,” he answers, “but I don’t know how to spell it.”
“G-U-E-S-S,” I say. “And shut the door!”
The conditioner is in. The loofah is lathered.
The door opens.
“Mom?” Vivian asks. “When will Grandma answer me back?”
“Shut the door!”
And this is why I dream of a doorknob with a lock.