First, in the news department: My book, Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids, is up on Amazon! Here’s the cover: Second, the sucking-at-something part. I suck at giveaways. My cop out for this is that I’m not a completer-finisher. Although I managed to finish my manuscript, if […]
funny mom blog
How To Cheat on Home Reading
My eight-year-old son has been cheating on his home reading. How is that possible? you might ask. Well, he’s been yelling “blah-blah-blah” instead of recording the online book into the computer like he’s supposed to. How is it possible that he’s been doing this for six weeks and you never noticed? you might ask. Well, […]
3 Warning Signs That Your Children Are Plotting To Send You to the Parenting Asylum
Sometimes conversations are warning signs. If you have eight-year-old twins, conversations are almost always warning signs. Here are three recent chats that have led me to conclude that my children are plotting to send me to the parenting asylum. Conversation 1 Context: William and Vivian are arguing and play fighting on Sunday night. Me: “If […]
Halloween Fun at Huff Po
I’m blogging over at HuffPo today. Click over to check out Top 13 Horror Movies for Parents. Enjoy.
A Third Grader's Insight Into Motherhood
I painted my daughter’s nails the other night. In our house, this is known as an “event.” Picture eight-year-old Vivian with her hands in a kitchen sink filled with cold water, attempting to set the polish so it might last more than twenty minutes. “Mom,” Vivian said, “I need to throw out my gum.” The […]
Where Parents Find Cheerios
I wish I could channel Dr. Seuss. If I could, I would write Green Eggs and Cheerios. Screw the ham. The pigs need a rest. Just ask George Orwell or Doreen Cronin (though Ms. Cronin, of Dooby Dooby Moo fame, seems to prefer ducks and cows). But I’m a blogger with a Cheerio to squish. […]
Bizarre Parenting Strategies That Just Might Work
My main philosophy for dealing with children and teens is this: So far it’s worked. In the classroom and out. I’ve told teens that I teach, “If you do that one more time, I’m going to photocopy my face 29 times.” This causes a moment of silence, before one of them challenges me to do […]
What You Don't Want Your Daughter To Say After Prom
It’s prom season. Maybe I’ll tell my prom story one of these days. It’s as cliche as they get. ~ But for now, please click over to Nickelodeon’s NickMom to read my latest attempt at humor. ~ ~ Top 9 Things Moms Don’t Want Their Daughters To Say After Prom Here’s a teaser: #7: “And […]
Moments With My 8-Year-Old Son
William, now 8, is still every bit the same boy he was at 7. On Tuesday, his birthday, he hopped on the bathroom scale to see if he was indeed bigger. He was. This weekend, he showed us more behaviour that revealed he is my same-but-bigger son. On Friday morning, he was angry because I […]
Sleeping In: The Myth of Parenthood
Here’s an excerpt from my latest humour column in The Calgary Herald: You know you’re a parent when you pray that your children allow you to sleep in. Until 7: 30 a.m. Last Saturday my husband vacated the bedroom early to pursue his hobby of collecting other people’s useless crap, also known as rummaging through […]