Last week, just after I finished practicing music with my son, I joked with him about something he found hilarious. I don’t remember what the joke was, but I know it didn’t involve any bodily functions. What I do remember clearly, however, was William’s reaction to my joking. “Mom, you’re the funniest woman I know.” […]
funny
9 Ways Feeding an Infant Is Like Having $ex
I’m sending you over to Nickelodeon today, where I’ve written 9 Ways Feeding an Infant Is Like Having Sex. To whet your appetite, #8 is: The prep work takes longer than the actual event. I know my readers love double entendres and can out-funny me. Be sure to add your own ways feeding-an-infant-is like-having-sex to the […]
The Joy of Fessing Up
THE PREMISE Last week, I had some fun playing a blogging version of Two Truths and a Lie. If you haven’t read that post, don’t bother. But please go and read the comments. THE COMMENTS Many of my readers participated and revealed that they have: met Prince Charles had their house burn down dined with […]
Stuff Dad Does While Mom Is Out
After my husband came home from work on Saturday, I scooted out for 45 minutes. In that time, I managed to get $50 worth of groceries, buy a tea, and visit a book store. In that same time, my husband managed to shoot a video of William. Here is an inverted William singing “Run Runaway” […]
Two Truths and a Lie: The Blogging Version
One of my favourite party games is Two Truths and a Lie. This could explain why I’m never invited to A-list parties, or even F-list ones. If you’re not familiar with Two Truths and a Lie, it works like this. One person offers three statements about herself, one of which is false. The other players […]
How Not To Eat Dessert
I’m in the middle of my after-dinner ritual, which is neither sipping Baileys nor having my feet massaged. I’m making school lunches. Vivian and William, meanwhile, are waiting for dessert to be served. It’s Jello that their father has cooked – or whatever it is you do to primary-colored gelatin. I don’t like Jello. If […]
Headline from My House: Mom Locks Self in Bathroom
So I’m sitting on the floor of the bathroom playing Words with Friends. My spidey senses are tingling, not because I just figured out how to play my Q without a U, but because my twins are up to something. I sense danger. Then I hear it. It’s the unmistakeable sound of flesh on flesh, […]
The Superbowl, Melodrama, and Triple Jump
It’s time for some Triple Jump: to hop, skip and jump to other posts I’ve written this week. Over at NickMom, Nickelodeon’s hilarious humor site, I’ve written this: How Throwing a Kid’s Birthday Party is Like The Superbowl Over at Stuff Kids Write, I’ve posted one of Vivian’s melodramatic notes that simultaneously pulls on my […]
Things I Suck At … Or Not
It’s Search Ironic Mom time, when I take actual search terms that led victims to my blog and attempt to answer their original query. Today’s first search term is below. Dear Ironic Mom: Signed, Annoying Kid Dear Annoying Kid: Thank you for inquiring about “annoying mom habits.” If you have to google this, consider yourself […]
How To Leave Your Spouse
I’ve often told my husband that the perfect gift for me is 24 hours alone in a boutique hotel. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m joking. But this weekend, I’m getting something better: a writing weekend away with my wordbitches, Elena, Trish and Gigi. If you wish to plan your own weekend away, I’ve shared […]