. It’s bedtime. I’ve spent the past sixty minutes doing the following: sorting through kids’ dresser drawers and replacing summer tees with winter hoodies; hooking up lonesome socks congregating in a singles’ drawer; picking up books that have been flung by discus athletes-in-training; and removing embedded Lego pieces from my bare feet. A typical evening. […]
funny
Shakespeare on Parenting
We have to study Shakespeare to graduate from high school, yet we don’t have to study anything to become a parent. What if Shakespeare could instruct us on the demands of childrearing? Or easier yet–what if we could twist the titles of his plays and apply them to parenting? Here are 10 titles of Shakespeare’s […]
On the Move: Dentists, Paying It Forward, and My 10 Cents
Dental Drama This morning, at 7 a.m., I was in the dental chair with my mouth cranked open as some medieval instruments threatened to give me a tongue piercing. I don’t love the dentist. I can’t understand how engineers put men on the moon over 40 years ago (and decided to bring them back) but […]
Did I Say That Out Loud? How To Embarrass Your Kids
Sometimes I think sitting down as a family at dinner is overrated. At least for the mother. I miss my university days of having a bagel and Sunchips in front of the TV with my roommate while watching Jeopardy and reruns of The Muppets. Now, in our Lego filled house, dinner table conversations sometimes seem […]
Bring Out Your Dead: Parenting & Gardening
On Sunday, my husband came home from work and saw an empty planter. “What happened to our plant?” he asked. “I threw it out.” “Was it dead?” he asked. “Not really.” “You just got tired of it?” “Kind of.” “So you euthanized it?” “I guess,” I said. “I kept it alive for two years, then […]
How To Be the Teacher’s Pet
It’s holiday Monday. There’s nothing teachers like better than a holiday Monday, except eight of them in a row, which is also known as summer. Today–a delicious holiday Monday–I’m pleased to bring you a guest post from the hilarious Tyler Tarver. Tyler is a teacher and a dad and an author, not necessarily in that […]
How Do You Spell Relief? B-a-c-k-T-o-S-c-h-o-o-l
Vivian and William had their first day of school yesterday. After we used a logarithm to sort out the bus route, we drove to the school, met the kids when they got off the bus, and joined the queue of parents sloughing Lululemon bags overflowing with glue sticks and sharpened pencils. Welcome to the first […]
Reign of Terror: Unleashing Kids on Grandma's House
My parents live in a new house. It’s beautiful, but my kids tried their best to change that this summer. In our first week there, my seven-year-old twins gouged several walls, wrote on my parents’ RV (just in dust, thankfully), and broke a banister. Technically, Vivian and William didn’t break the whole banister: just a […]
Win Tickets to Cirque du Soleil
I am Canadian and I have not seen Cirque du Soleil perform. I’m pretty sure this is akin to a New Zealander not having watched the Haka. Or an Italian not having eaten pasta. Or… I’d go on, but I’m already experiencing a metaphor meltdown. This is going to change, though. Not my overreaching metaphors, […]
Parenting According to Twitter
I think Twitter knows more about my parenting style than anyone in real life does. There’s nothing like putting the fun in dysfunctional in a public forum. Here are some of my parenting tweets from the past month. (If you’re not on Twitter, here’s a key. DD: Dear Daughter, DH: Dear Husband, 7yo: 7-year-old) Chapter […]