Over a decade ago, when I first saw my not-yet-husband interact with his five-year-old nephew, they were playing “I love you more than.” The game pingponged back and forth, each analogy wilder and crazier than the last. When my husband said, “I love you more than a lake full of Pepsi,” the game was over. […]
Ironic Mom
An Obituary for EduClaytion
EduClaytion, the blog of my good friend Clay Morgan, is dead. Here is the obituary. After three years and over 400 posts, eduClaytion has been laid to rest. Best known for his quirky musings, eduClaytion charmed the world like a zombie-hunting Flynn Rider. Many will remember his ridiculous videos of the most mediocre quality available. […]
Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom
My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this: If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your […]
10 Bizarre Updates from the Past 10 Days
If you want a slice of my (psycho) life, here are 10 updates I posted on Twitter or my Facebook page over the past 10 days. Update 1: William vs. Hole ~ Update 2: God vs. The Fire Alarm ~ Update 3: Vivian vs. iPhone ~ Update 4: Me vs. Housework ~ Update 5: Me […]
Mother's Day in the 1970s and 1980s
If you live in North American, you’re likely aware it’s Mother’s Day in 12 days, unless you’re dead. For the part of my adult life that I’ve been alive, I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day by calling my mom to apologize for getting her nothing. This is not unlike how I celebrate her birthday by not sending her dead […]
Top 10 Signs That Mom Needs a Vacation: guest post
I am more delighted than a teacher on a snow day to have one of my besties, Elena Aitken, guest posting here today. Together with Trish Loye and I, Elena completes the Wordbitches trio. We’re also part of the same writing group. Elena is a kick-a$$ writer who’s very successful on the Indie scene (People, […]
The Wisdom of 7 Year Olds
Vivian sat at the table, practicing line after line of cursive writing because apparently she will learn handwriting in Grade 3, otherwise known as “next year.” Out of nowhere, she said, “Some parents just want their kids to be like them.” I paused whatever I was doing in the kitchen, which probably involved burning myself. […]
What makes someone sexy?
My face was red, sunburned red. I was breathing hard, a sign that my forty-year-old body was a couple of decades past being a competitive athlete, past being fit, past having a beautiful belly button on a stomach without stretch marks. I continued my workout on our driveway, passing the basketball to one of my […]
Humour Column: Trying Not To Glue Gun Kids Together
When I was on my Spring Break, I volunteered two mornings in both Vivian and William’s Grade 2 classroom. I had to do a craft. I happen to despise crafts. I can mess them up easily. Those two mornings in a primary classroom were the subject of my latest humor column in The Calgary Herald. […]
A Parenting Dictionary: 5 British Words We Need To Adopt
This is a post based on one I published in March 2010, when not even my mom read my blog. Enjoy. ~ Sometimes I think North American English is limited, especially when it comes to parenting. So, since I can’t borrow Colin Firth, I’m suggesting we adopt more British words. Let’s face it, English, the language […]