I love how kids tell jokes. It’s chaos theory at its best. From my unscientific observations, there are two initial stages of kids’ lack of development with regard to joke telling. Stage One: The Surreal Phase In the surreal phase, kids will tell jokes greatly influenced by the postmodern movement. These jokes tend to follow […]
Leanne Shirtliffe
Remembering School Dances and the Uncertainty of Adolescence
The 1980s I loved getting ready for school dances. My best friend, C, and I would try on outfits, style each other’s hair, and apply make-up. This was unusual for us since we were jocks. Our normal school attire consisted of jeans, sweatshirts, runners, and barrettes or ponytails. Playing dress-up was fun, even if we […]
Parenting Techniques That Guarantee Kids Will Need Therapy
I don’t read parenting books. They simultaneously bore and annoy me, like watching the Canucks play in Boston. The last thing I want to do when I finally lasso my seven-year-old twins to their beds (besides watch Luongo let in another goal) is read Perfect Parenting for Dummies. I already know I’m an idiot when […]
What's in a Name?
I love name stories. The funny ones, the misunderstood ones, the weird ones. I have a lot of name stories. I’ve been Leanne Shirtliffe since the day I was born, and that same name will be etched into my tombstone one day. Life with this name is entertaining, to say the least. Here are 10 […]
Suburban CSI and Killer Rabbits
Last week, I stood on our porch and waved goodbye to visitors. After they drove off, I looked at the railing and noticed two things: (1) it is in desperate need of a paint job, and (2) there was a wishbone drying on it. It was a bit of a puzzle. I never save wishbones, […]
Math, Kids, and Fidelity
I like giving my kids math problems. It’s comedy in action. When Vivian and William were five, I blogged about fun-with-math. I wrote: A couple of years ago, in a good parenting moment, I started playing math with them while driving. I gave them number problems, and they figured out the answer (or not). The […]
School Photo Day: Remembering Kindergarten
I may not remember the last time my kids had a bath or when my van’s oil was changed, but I remember a lot about the year I was five. For whatever bizarre reason, I can still name all 25 kids in my Kindergarten class picture. And I can also remember the girl with the […]
The Birthday Party, by the numbers
If you’re a sports fan, you’ll know numbers don’t lie (especially if you cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs). Here are the numbers from William and Vivian’s 7th birthday party, which I bravely hosted yesterday. 10: Kids in attendance, including my own 2: Kids I temporarily lost sight of at the playground (including William) 5: […]
I Hope: a birthday letter to my 7-year-old twins
Dearest William and Vivian, Today you turn 7. Happy Birthday, my darlings. I hope you think being 6 has been a lot of fun. You know I’m not good at the big things. I’m not good at planning birthday parties, taking you on a zillion outings (or even two—unless they involve a bookstore and a […]
5 Announcements That Won't Change Your Life
ANNOUNCEMENT 1: Wednesday, June 1 is School Photo Day for bloggers. Join KB at Keenie Beanie, Clay at EduClaytion, me, and others as we post an embarrassing school picture from days gone by. Feel free to steal the above graphic if you wish to promote it. If you don’t wish to participate, just drop by […]