Over a decade ago, when I first saw my not-yet-husband interact with his five-year-old nephew, they were playing “I love you more than.” The game pingponged back and forth, each analogy wilder and crazier than the last. When my husband said, “I love you more than a lake full of Pepsi,” the game was over. […]
Leanne Shirtliffe
Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom
My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this: If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your […]
A Letter To My 20-Year-Old Self: a guest post
I have the privilege of guest posting today over at New Life Cal U, the blog of my good friend, Kim Wilson. You might remember Kim posting here last year, What To Do with a Dead Chicken. Kim is launching a fabulous series, called Letters To My 20-Year-Old Self. I am honoured to be a […]
10 Bizarre Updates from the Past 10 Days
If you want a slice of my (psycho) life, here are 10 updates I posted on Twitter or my Facebook page over the past 10 days. Update 1: William vs. Hole ~ Update 2: God vs. The Fire Alarm ~ Update 3: Vivian vs. iPhone ~ Update 4: Me vs. Housework ~ Update 5: Me […]
Roses in Bahrain: a revealing guest post
For some reason, when I write guest posts for other bloggers, I frequently reveal a different side of me, often a less funny one. Today, I’m over at Reed My Writing, run by humor writer and dad, J.R. Reed, a funny man with whom I’ve shared many tweets over the past month. On Thursdays, J.R. […]
Mother's Day in the 1970s and 1980s
If you live in North American, you’re likely aware it’s Mother’s Day in 12 days, unless you’re dead. For the part of my adult life that I’ve been alive, I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day by calling my mom to apologize for getting her nothing. This is not unlike how I celebrate her birthday by not sending her dead […]
Thing 1 and Thing 2: Special Op
While the original bad-hair-day Thing 1 and Thing 2 are traipsing over Europe (Switzerland, England, and soon The Netherlands), a special op pair recently landed in Pittsburgh to visit my buddy, Clay Morgan. They had some adventures with Clay, let me tell you, including teaching college, going on a road trip through Kentucky and on […]
Top 10 Signs That Mom Needs a Vacation: guest post
I am more delighted than a teacher on a snow day to have one of my besties, Elena Aitken, guest posting here today. Together with Trish Loye and I, Elena completes the Wordbitches trio. We’re also part of the same writing group. Elena is a kick-a$$ writer who’s very successful on the Indie scene (People, […]
The Wisdom of 7 Year Olds
Vivian sat at the table, practicing line after line of cursive writing because apparently she will learn handwriting in Grade 3, otherwise known as “next year.” Out of nowhere, she said, “Some parents just want their kids to be like them.” I paused whatever I was doing in the kitchen, which probably involved burning myself. […]
What makes someone sexy?
My face was red, sunburned red. I was breathing hard, a sign that my forty-year-old body was a couple of decades past being a competitive athlete, past being fit, past having a beautiful belly button on a stomach without stretch marks. I continued my workout on our driveway, passing the basketball to one of my […]