When Vivian’s bored, she either draws or writes. We used to call her a one-girl craft production factory, but now she’s a writer in charge of a word assembly plant. James Frey would be lucky to have her in his sweatshop of young writing grunts, earning $250 per book they churn out. Last week, Vivian […]
Whiteboard Wednesday
Children, Wrestling, and Neglectful Parenting
Our twins have started wrestling with each other every evening. After they clean up all their toys (or take the short cut and shove them under the couch), they decide it’s time. Now, as far as I know, they’ve never actually seen WWE. At least, I’m hoping they can’t yet understand the headline, “The 2010 […]
Putting Kids To Bed: Search and Rescue
I’m talking on the phone, ignoring my kids. They’re supposed to be getting ready for bed. Vivian, who is already clad in red fleece pajamas, is hanging out two inches from my face, trying to get my attention. “Hang on a sec,” I say to my friend. “Vivian,” I snap. “Go brush your teeth.” She […]
Psycho Playground Adventure, Twin Style
Last weekend, in that bygone era of no snow, I took my kids to the playground. I mistakenly brought my book, thinking that I might be able to get some reading done. Wrong. When I wasn’t lifting Vivian up to the monkey bars, I was twirling William on the merry-go-round and ruining my suede boots […]
Advice on Table Manners from a Hypocrite
I’ve written before about kids’ eating habits, including heads on plates and chewing etiquette. No doubt I’ll write about this again, because it’s a work in progress. Until then, I’ll gripe publicly. Someday, I’d like to get through a meal without instructing my kids on table manners, but that seems as likely as baking chocolate […]
Children, Skating, and Body Parts
Vivian and William are taking skating lessons, as in the beginner, I-can’t-stand-up kind. They may be the only 6-year-old Canadians who don’t know how to skate, which is rather embarrassing since both my husband and I are rather proficient on blades. I grew up on a farm that had two natural skating surfaces, a pond […]
Is Croquet a Blood Sport?
I love our fenced backyard. It’s a regulation-size chicken coop for twins. Open the patio door, send them out, and pour a glass of wine make a cup of tea. Sometimes I look out the window; usually I tweet. When I’m vying for Parent-of-the-Year, I’ll crack open a screen door to add an extra sensory […]
Table Manners and Kids
I think my title’s wrong. Instead of “Table Manners and Kids,” I should have called it “Table Manners or Kids.” It’s Whiteboard Wednesday, which means I post a zany comment I’ve made in the past while. This week’s comment concerns table manners. We had just finished one of our 10 minute dinners (barbecued sausages on […]
Kids Using Their Heads, Literally
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday again, that time where I share something bizarre I’ve said recently. This week’s addition to the things-I’m-shocked-I’ve-said comes courtesy of watching Vivian climb the stairs. Normally, she bounds up with speed and confidence that I used to have a decade or two ago. But on this particular day, she decided to use […]
Music Lessons and the Vomit Key
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday. If you missed last week, this means that I post one of the bizarre statements that came reeling out of my mouth over the past few days. Three weeks ago, my kids started taking music lessons. They practice on a keyboard which my husband bought for $100. If you’ve ever tried to […]