Today marks the return of Whiteboard Wednesdays. If you have no idea what this is, neither do my kids. So know that you’re not alone. Basically, Whiteboard Wednesday is when I write down something semi-idiotic that I said while parenting in the past week. This is easier than it seems. Some past Whiteboard Wednesday comments […]
humor
How Do You Spell Relief? B-a-c-k-T-o-S-c-h-o-o-l
Vivian and William had their first day of school yesterday. After we used a logarithm to sort out the bus route, we drove to the school, met the kids when they got off the bus, and joined the queue of parents sloughing Lululemon bags overflowing with glue sticks and sharpened pencils. Welcome to the first […]
Reign of Terror: Unleashing Kids on Grandma's House
My parents live in a new house. It’s beautiful, but my kids tried their best to change that this summer. In our first week there, my seven-year-old twins gouged several walls, wrote on my parents’ RV (just in dust, thankfully), and broke a banister. Technically, Vivian and William didn’t break the whole banister: just a […]
Win Tickets to Cirque du Soleil
I am Canadian and I have not seen Cirque du Soleil perform. I’m pretty sure this is akin to a New Zealander not having watched the Haka. Or an Italian not having eaten pasta. Or… I’d go on, but I’m already experiencing a metaphor meltdown. This is going to change, though. Not my overreaching metaphors, […]
Parenting According to Twitter
I think Twitter knows more about my parenting style than anyone in real life does. There’s nothing like putting the fun in dysfunctional in a public forum. Here are some of my parenting tweets from the past month. (If you’re not on Twitter, here’s a key. DD: Dear Daughter, DH: Dear Husband, 7yo: 7-year-old) Chapter […]
The Horrors of Minigolfing with Children
If you’ve minigolfed with young children, you’re likely aware that it’s a dangerous activity that could require hospitalization. To read about the mini-putt injuries we sustained when Vivian and William were four years old, please go to my humour column, which was published in yesterday’s Calgary Herald. Click here: Minigolfing with Kids: A Bad Idea. […]
Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure: Stop 3 = Maryland
Stop 2: Jefferson, Maryland Host: Thoughtsy Distance Logged Since Calgary: 4056 kms/2520 miles Next Stop: Joplin, Missouri After their adventures zip-lining in West Virginia, Thing 1 and Thing 2 headed northeast to Maryland (spot the Canadian whose US geography is improving). I’m delighted that Thoughtsy hosted my two stuffies. Thoughtsy is an entertaining and intelligent […]
10 Signs of Summer, Literally
In the past couple months, I’ve collected some signs that have made me smile: Signs of Summer, if you will. Here are 10 of them. Sign 1: Graffiti in a Private School Bathroom (Final Exam Week) Sign 2: The Front Page of The Calgary Herald Sign 3: The Placement of James Rollins’ Book at Indigo […]
When Your Child Wonders What Age She Can Have a Baby, Ask Facebook
Last week, seven-year-old Vivian was back at it, peppering me with questions about God, sperm banks, and babies. This is why I don’t home school, I thought. From September to June, I can rely on her classmates to give the wrong answer; in July and August, however, it’s up to me. So when Vivian asked […]
I am the DH: Being Married to Ironic Mom (Part II)
Back by popular request after his Part 1 post, here is my husband, that man who once complimented me by saying, “You’re the third funniest woman I’ve ever met.” Enjoy his guest post on what it’s like to be married to a farm girl. I am the DH. I am the Dear Husband, butt of […]