A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in my neighbour’s dining room performing a community service: neither she nor her husband drink red wine, so when they have some I drink it. Anyway, we were talking about pets. They’re planning to get one; we’re not. At least, I don’t think we are. My kids […]
parenting
Activities for Children of Lousy Parents
Let’s get things straight. I’m not a Martha Stewart mother, one of those women born to parent. I am neither willing nor able to build a replica of the Taj Mahal out of items from the recycling box. In recent weeks, I’ve felt compelled to do something slightly more interesting with my children on Sundays […]
A Parenting Dictionary: Importing British-isms
Sometimes I think North American English is limited, especially when it comes to parenting. So, I am suggesting we borrow some more British words. Let’s face it, English, the language we speak, already shares a root word with England. Why not just take a few more? Here then are some of my favourite British-isms. Imported […]
Parents Are Stupid: The Dissolution of Knowledge
Last Saturday, my daughter had severe stomach pain. Only semi-awake, she moaned and writhed, screaming when I touched her tummy, which felt like it was shored up by two-by-fours. I tried giving her 7-Up (too sweet), mashing an antacid and putting it in a teaspoon of jam (too gross), and cuddling (too confining). It reminded […]
5 Annoying Parenting Habits
1. A Fixation on Height Bragging about the height of our children seems to be the latest wave in competitive parenting. Since a child’s potential height is basically predetermined in the womb, this makes as much sense as bragging about a child’s natural hair colour. I don’t really care if a child is going to […]
Raising Normal Kids
This parenting thing baffles me. Generally I’m so lost in a labyrinth of fuzz that I don’t even bother to think about it. But today, I’ll wander back in. In many ways, I don’t have high expectations for my twins. I don’t expect (or want) them to be the top of the class, famous actors, […]
I Believe: A Parenting Manifesto Inspired by the Olympics' Theme Song
The Olympics’ theme song, I Believe, has been getting a lot of airplay. Makes sense, since it’s The Winter Olympic Games and all. If you haven’t heard it, you’re clearly living in a media-deprived world, which begs the question: how are you reading this blog? I’ve posted the shortest version I could find. Feel free […]
5 Reasons Parents Need To Watch the Olympics
Reason 1: It’s better than Kid-TV. I’m not sure what your least favourite kids-TV show is, but we prefer to be patriotic in our loathing. On Canada’s homegrown Treehouse TV, 4 Square is the most despised program in our household, especially the segments featuring four dancers in unitards. If you don’t know this show, cross […]
Why Winter Olympic Sports Are Psychotic
There’s a certain stare-death-in-the-face quality to the Winter Olympics. Figure skating involves blades that can slice flesh. The game of hockey combines freshly sharpened skates with 100 MPH slap shots. Then there’s downhill skiing: where speed meets the very real possibility of hurtling off a cliff, unless some orange-colored mesh fencing miraculously catches your Gumby […]
5 Parenting Skills That Should Be Olympic Events
There should be an Olympic Games for moms and dads. Now there’s an endurance competition that’d test your focus. As a parent, not only would you get to compete, but you’d get to be your own trainer, nutritionist, psychologist, and sponsor. As an added bonus, you always get play… even if you’re severely sick, injured […]