In a previous post, I compared my daughter, Vivian, to Tigger. Like Pooh’s psychotic sidekick, Vivian does not so much sit as vibrate. She even moves when she sleeps, kicking imaginary bandits and wrestling with blankets. But now she’s sick. Not seriously ill, but sick nonetheless, either with a nasty flu, an ear infection or […]
Hilarious Family Moments
Chaos and Blood Loss: 20 Minutes with Twins
Every now and then, time bends, and the events of twenty minutes seem more like twenty-four hours. Last January, I posted about a chaotic twenty-minute dinner involving musical chairs, India, and the Village People. A month prior to that, I posted the twenty-minute vomit-a-thon. Here is a new twenty-minute installment, which involves the usual chaos […]
Why I Laugh At My Children
For dinner the other night, my husband made tacos, the hard shell variety. Vivian and William love this meal, most likely because the shells are deep fried (well, I assume they are before they’re sealed in the box), and because it’s a meal that contains meat, cheese, and ketchup, making it a near cousin of […]
Selective Memory, TV, and Children
My son has the ability to forget just about anything. So far, in Grade 1, he has forgotten his boots at school in a blizzard (he wore his indoor runners as mules through drifts of snow), every detail of what he did in class yesterday, and where he put the remote control to our brand […]
The Navel-Gazing Holiday
Well, it’s the Navel Gazing Holiday, that time when you look back and dream forward. Since my belly button sagged to a smiley face after I gave birth to over thirteen pounds of babies, I don’t particularly like gazing at my navel. Still, like I did last year, I will stoop to use the length […]
A Macabre Christmas Tale
Vivian, my beloved Thing 2, composed a story this morning. It’s safe to say she’s picked up her dad’s sense of what’s funny. She is very proud of the surprise ending. In case you’re tired of twelve days of warm fuzzies, here you go. Jessica and the Talking Christmas Orange Jessica went on a walk […]
More Epic Fail Parenting: Advent Calendars
I like to buy my kids advent calendars. I think it’s fun to count down to the gift frenzy known as Christmas Day, that glorious morning where a Parental Time Zone exists: thanks to our children, we’re up three hours earlier than any other person on holidays. I grew up with an advent calendar. We […]
Life with a 6-year-old Playwright and Director
When Vivian’s bored, she either draws or writes. We used to call her a one-girl craft production factory, but now she’s a writer in charge of a word assembly plant. James Frey would be lucky to have her in his sweatshop of young writing grunts, earning $250 per book they churn out. Last week, Vivian […]
A Behind-the-Scenes Look at a TV News Spot
Last Monday, I had the pleasure of being on The Calgary Eyeopener, a popular morning radio show in our city run by CBC (Canada’s version of NPR). I had been in touch with the producers regarding my post, “5 Best-Toys-of-2010 That Really Suck,” and they were interested in doing a seven minute segment live on […]
Children, Wrestling, and Neglectful Parenting
Our twins have started wrestling with each other every evening. After they clean up all their toys (or take the short cut and shove them under the couch), they decide it’s time. Now, as far as I know, they’ve never actually seen WWE. At least, I’m hoping they can’t yet understand the headline, “The 2010 […]