It’s late afternoon. I’m sitting in the living room with my family waiting for bedtime. And dinner. But mostly bedtime. I am still in school-mode and mention something about grammar and using past tense to my husband, who’s trying to complete the New York Times crossword puzzle in less than twenty-four hours. Like my husband, […]
Hilarious Family Moments
How To Do Crafts on Live TV When You Barely Have Opposable Thumbs
It’s no secret that I’m terrible at crafts. Basically, I don’t even try. My husband likes to remind me that I have the finger dexterity of Kermit the Frog. So what’s the logical thing to do when a Breakfast TV producer asks if you can do a four-minute demo of four activities that kids can […]
Love Is When…
This morning I received a Facebook message from a good friend. She’s making Valentine’s Day ornaments for her staying-up-all-year Christmas tree, and she wants her friends to send her their answer to the sentence starter, “Love is…” My first thought was this: Then I thought of my hilarious readers. Help me out. Fill in the […]
5 Books You Don't Want Your Spouse to Sign out of the Library
My husband is a recovering librarian. This means that when we were first dating and he wasn’t yet recovering, I’d call him and say things like, “Hey, Babe. How does ‘822.33 SHA’ sound to you?” William Shakespeare—one of the many Williams we named our son after (see also William Wallace and my grandfather)—has his own […]
Want to Guest Post for Me?
UPDATE: I’m now booking guest posts into the second half of 2013. See below if interested! RAMBLING and PREAMBLING When I turned on my laptop this morning, I was greeted by this notice: It’s a bit like being pregnant: I’m not sure if 100 days is long or short. It’s roughly equivalent to one trimester […]
Book Update: Alphabetical Awesomeness
Yesterday, I discovered that Skyhorse Publishing’s Spring/Summer catalog is out. My book, which releases May 1, is in there. I love Skyhorse’s eclectic offerings. You may remember that when I signed with them last June, I searched their recent deals in Publisher’s Marketplace. I was sandwiched between some quirky titles: Well, now that Skyhorse’s Spring/Summer […]
50 Shades of Pet Stores
Every time I walk into a pet store, a blog post writes itself and a unicorn and a T-Rex die in each other’s arms. One day last week,Vivian suggested that we go to the Pet Store. “You know,” she said, “the one that sells animals.” I learned that fact two years ago, thanks for reminding me. […]
How To Cheat Using a Pedometer
I bought a FitBit Zip, which I tend to call my FitBit “Zit” because it protrudes from my body like acne. If you don’t know what a FitBit is, it’s a small piece of expensive plastic that you clip to your waistband so it can record you how many steps you take on a given […]
A Funny Review of the Week and Search-Me Terms
There are a lot of reviews going around the internet. I was even in one. So, instead of being original, I decided to steal the review idea and post a collection of semi-connected, semi-random, semi-funny things. status updates THAT describe my last week 10 Search Terms That Led People to My Blog The number indicates […]
Christmas Carols and Bacon: a new tradition
Earlier this week, funny blogger Go Jules Go showed us her homemade, bacon-inspired Christmas tree ornaments. This got me thinking, which is a dangerous pursuit the week before Christmas. We really need to rewrite some Christmas carols in honour of bacon. *** I’ll start: Deck the halls with pounds of bacon… Joy to the Bacon […]