As I age, my reading seems to become more eclectic. I’m not just talking about flipping through 101 Scariest Animals before chasing it down with a shot of Dooby Dooby Moo or Parker Picks. Somedays I read books that won literary prizes; other days I flip through fluff. I also read weird nonfiction, including books about […]
Hilarious Family Moments
The Story of My Weekend in Tweets
Twitter is the only diary I’ve kept longer than two days. Somehow the limit of 140 characters appeals to my distractedness, even invites it. So, here we go… Saturday Morning: Saturday Afternoon: Sunday, Early Afternoon: Sunday, Mid Afternoon: Sunday, Moments Later: Sunday, Later: You may be wondering what’s in these updates for you. Well, let […]
A Third Grader's Insight Into Motherhood
I painted my daughter’s nails the other night. In our house, this is known as an “event.” Picture eight-year-old Vivian with her hands in a kitchen sink filled with cold water, attempting to set the polish so it might last more than twenty minutes. “Mom,” Vivian said, “I need to throw out my gum.” The […]
Where Parents Find Cheerios
I wish I could channel Dr. Seuss. If I could, I would write Green Eggs and Cheerios. Screw the ham. The pigs need a rest. Just ask George Orwell or Doreen Cronin (though Ms. Cronin, of Dooby Dooby Moo fame, seems to prefer ducks and cows). But I’m a blogger with a Cheerio to squish. […]
Bizarre Parenting Strategies That Just Might Work
My main philosophy for dealing with children and teens is this: So far it’s worked. In the classroom and out. I’ve told teens that I teach, “If you do that one more time, I’m going to photocopy my face 29 times.” This causes a moment of silence, before one of them challenges me to do […]
This Week, By the Numbers
It’s time for a catch-up post. Here is my week, by the numbers: 4: Consecutive hours I graded on Monday night 4: Toilets I cleaned on Tuesday night 3: Nights I’ll be away from home for the Surrey International Writers’ Conference 1*: Red feather boas I packed for writing conference 5: Feather boas Elena Aitken […]
Manuscript Bloopers
I made it. I sent my full manuscript of DON’T LICK THE MINIVAN: Things I Never Thought I’d Say As a Parent to my editor. That’s 60,834 words, a few of which might be funny. I’ve had brilliant Beta readers, second readers who give you feedback on your manuscript. My Betas are mentioned in the […]
How To Get Away With Insulting Your Spouse
It was Survival-of-the-Fittest hour in our living room. Dinner was history, the lunches were made, and I had unsuccessfully searched for wine. My husband read in his favourite chair. I pfaffed on my laptop while William built another Lego zombie creation. Vivian hovered, clearly bored. Before long, she enlisted William’s help and got us on […]
Two men, the Undead, and Zombie Lego
William wandered over to me with his latest Lego creation. He’d hobbled together eight spacecraft, each piloted by a gruesome creature. We looked at them, and Will explained the marvels of each ship. He held one up. “This one’s undead, Mom.” Viv, who was drawing with pastels, perked up at this word. “That’s the title […]
How To Use Zombies To Make Twitter Come Alive
Last night, I was revising my manuscript when I needed help. Not 9-1-1 help, at least not at that point. What I needed to know was what the collective noun for zombies was. So I did some crowd sourcing on Twitter. And, let me tell you, if you want Twitter to come alive, tweet a […]