One thing I’ve realized in the six years I’ve been parenting is that there are some bizarre statements that come reeling out of my mouth. Today, I’m starting a new feature called Whiteboard Wednesday. Now I know there are some sports websites that give you a behind-the-scenes look on Whiteboard Wednesdays; this is nothing like […]
Lackluster Parenting
The Importance of Having a Favourite Colour
My twins start Grade One in the fall, which officially catapults them out of the category of preschoolers. I’m not sure what they’re called now. Schoolers doesn’t quite have the same categorical recognition. And the term Grade Schoolers is awkward. I’m going for kids. Just plain kids. Since my kids are beyond preschool, I now […]
The Vegetable Truck: Lying to My Children
When our twins were born, my husband and I were in year four of a five-year-stint in Thailand. As you can imagine, there were a plethora of noises in Bangkok, most of which assaulted our ears with video-game intensity. Sounds reverberated off skyscrapers the way noises echo in a canyon. My husband and I talked […]
The Challenges of Teaching Twins To Ride Bikes
Alternate Title: Why I Suck At Parenting, Part 32 Before I itemize my issues with teaching my twins to ride bikes, let me just say that I’m not even talking about riding bikes on two wheels. I’m talking about riding bikes with training wheels. That’s how bad a parent I am. My kids can’t even […]
Reasons I’m Not Nominated for Parent-of-the-Year
It’s June. If you’re a junior high teacher in Canada, this means you’re running both a marathon and a sprint, desperate to make it to the finish line before you collapse. Factor in six-year-old twins in your “off” hours and, well, it ain’t pretty. Looking back at the past week, I can see a number […]
Decorating Kids' Rooms: Why Bother?
I don’t understand this fixation with decorating kids’ rooms. Maybe it’s because I’d rather spend money on books. Maybe it’s because I think trends are an environmental hazard. Maybe it’s because a coat of yellowish paint was good enough for my room when I was growing up. Most likely it’s because I’m lazy. The decorating […]
Ode to Turning 6
Yesterday, Thing One and Thing Two turned 6. It’s hard to believe it’s been half a dozen years since those two slime balls were pulled from my womb in a Bangkok hospital. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I called the night nurse at 4 a.m. and said, “Can you take them […]
Retro Parenting: 5 Fun Phrases Our Parents Used
The return of 1980s fashion, from Vuarnets and blue eye shadow to legwarmers, has got me thinking about retro. In particular, retro parenting. Recently, I’ve been uttering phrases that my parents and grandparents used to quip when my siblings or I misbehaved. They may no longer be fashionable, but they’re fun. Here are my five […]
Earth Day Tips for Lazy Parents
April 22 is Earth Day, which means kids will be coming home from school with great ideas. Most of these “great ideas” are things we parents wish we were doing already: growing our own vegetables, packing litter-less lunches, and singing Kumbayah. I admit defeat early in the three above-mentioned Save-the-Earth campaigns: I kill house plants, […]
National That Sucks Day: a holiday designed for parents
Tomorrow is National That Sucks Day, a holiday created in honour of the day U.S. taxes are due, the day the Titanic sank, the anniversary of Lincoln’s assassination, and the day the first McDonald’s opened. But, ultimately, I believe National That Sucks Day is a day designed for parents. Here is an overview of a […]