I’m starting to think I have irony tattooed on my forehead. Either that or naive. Or idiot. Take your pick. Before I share greater irony than even Alanis could wail about, please click the link below to read the humor column that I wrote. It was published in The Calgary Herald this morning. It has […]
humor
Business Tips from 6-Year-Old Twins
This weekend, William and Vivian each decided to open a store on opposite sides of the sofa. Here is the marketing plan they followed. Buy low. Take objects that belong to Mommy, including her hair band and her Thing One and Thing Two stuffies. Add some toys and books that Daddy bought them at garage […]
When 6 Year Olds Discuss Dead Animals
Mealtime with twins is generally entertaining. If they’re not demonstrating how saliva aids the digestive process, they’re partaking in accidental slapstick by falling off chairs mid-story. Last night, though, it was a conversation in two parts that garnered my attention. Part One Setting: Before dinner. I have just announced we’re having hamburgers for dinner. William […]
Inappropriate Books for Kids (if you know what I mean)
The hilarious new kids’ book, Get the F**k to Sleep, has been getting a lot of press lately. And why not? It’s funny, its theme is universal, and it even scans. Some people might think the book is inappropriate, but they also likely believe it’s meant for children. While on the subject of things that […]
Stuff Kids Write: The Hot Sauce Edition
If you want to laugh and to read brilliant humour writing, go check out When Kids Try Hot Sauce at StuffKidsWrite.com. The piece is penned by Lloyd, this history dude I met while working on a student newspaper at university. Lloyd was the entertainment guru, the one who made everyone laugh, both in person and […]
10 Bizarre Courses I Could Teach
I could teach a course in… Boiling Water: Turning the kettle on 25 times before you get around to making one cup of tea. Abandoning Footwear: Leaving your shoes all over the house so others have to hop, skip, and jump around them. Wine Bluffing: Pretending to know what great wine tastes like when the […]
What 6-year-old Twins Think of Their Mother
I took myself out for lunch on Mother’s Day. I took my children, too, since my husband had to work. Because I had dreams of a grown-up lunch, the restaurant I chose wasn’t a place that had a children’s menu or a tablecloth you could draw on. As a result, I was stuck entertaining my […]
Mother’s Day, by the Numbers
5: Time my husband left the house for work (a.m.). 7: Time my children let me sleep in until. 2: Homemade gifts received. 2: Homemade cards. 3: Beds my kids made without me asking, begging, or threatening. 2: Rooms my kids cleaned without me asking, begging, or threatening. 1: Slice of cold toast I ate, […]
Girls, dancing, and clothes
Vivian loves to dance. A few times a week, we waltz around the kitchen, jive in the entry, or crazy dance in the living room. She used to wish desperately that we’d sign her up for dance classes; now, she’s stopped asking. I know there are a zillion benefits to dance, from coordination to confidence, […]
Babies, Monkeys, and Bangkok
We were leaving the chaos of Bangkok for the chaos of the Thai countryside. Inside our ubiquitous white tourist van were a driver, my in-laws, my husband, and our four-month-old twins. It was our kids’ longest journey; from our apartment in Bangkok it was a four hour drive south to a semi-private beach near Prachuap […]