After the stop on their European tour in Zurich with Evelynn Starr, Thing 1 and Thing 2 continued on their overseas tour this past month. They were hosted by the amazing Myfanwy, who adopted them and wrote thirteen entertaining posts about the mayhem they caused. Myfanwy lives in Fleet, Hampshire which is southwest of London. Let […]
twins
Funny Captions from My Life as a Parent
The best thing about having an iPhone is that I get to take bizarre pictures with great frequency. Here are a few from the past week, with captions. MATH: ART: PSYCHOLOGY: SCIENCE: ~ Tell me some recent captions or headlines from your house…
Twins, The Tooth Fairy, and Confused Parents
With my twins in Grade 2, I didn’t think there was much that could surprise me. In the seven years they’ve been alive, they’ve carved their names into the side of our minivan, put a garden hose down the basement vent (and turned on the water), and shoplifted from two different stores. But just like […]
5 Covers of Parenting Magazines, Annotated for Humor
Have you ever wanted to talk back to magazine headlines? Maybe I’m alone on this one, but I thought I’d share a little of the snark that goes on my head. ~ HEADLINE 1: “It’s Magical: Your child’s amazing capacity to think brilliant thoughts” ~ HEADLINE 2: “Conscious Parent: Being present for your children” ~ HEADLINE 3: […]
Phrases That Make Every Mother Duck for Cover, Pause, or Drink
Last week, I overheard a few phrases from my twins that made me duck for cover, pause, or drink. One of these phrases was uttered by William. In a stage whisper, he asked his twin sister, “What’s something I can slingshot?” I closed my laptop and ducked. Last Wednesday, I blogged about another phrase I […]
How Not To Eat Dessert
I’m in the middle of my after-dinner ritual, which is neither sipping Baileys nor having my feet massaged. I’m making school lunches. Vivian and William, meanwhile, are waiting for dessert to be served. It’s Jello that their father has cooked – or whatever it is you do to primary-colored gelatin. I don’t like Jello. If […]
Headline from My House: Mom Locks Self in Bathroom
So I’m sitting on the floor of the bathroom playing Words with Friends. My spidey senses are tingling, not because I just figured out how to play my Q without a U, but because my twins are up to something. I sense danger. Then I hear it. It’s the unmistakeable sound of flesh on flesh, […]
A Feast for the Eyes: Avatar Contest Winners
One of the comments I received about my avatar last fall was this. Since I can be a bit of a pop culture idiot, I googled “Allison Mack.” Here she is, similarly cropped: I need my own make-up artist. Not everyone thinks I look like an actress from Smallville, though; some people can see how […]
How To Leave Your Spouse
I’ve often told my husband that the perfect gift for me is 24 hours alone in a boutique hotel. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m joking. But this weekend, I’m getting something better: a writing weekend away with my wordbitches, Elena, Trish and Gigi. If you wish to plan your own weekend away, I’ve shared […]
How To Drive Your Parents To Drink
When I tweeted this, I likely should’ve shut my computer. To be fair, the ball wasn’t exactly a volleyball. It was a globe. An inflatable one. Vivian and William were using the sofa that divides the kitchen from the living room as a net. And they were spiking. Meanwhile, I was drinking club soda from […]