So I’m sitting on the floor of the bathroom playing Words with Friends. My spidey senses are tingling, not because I just figured out how to play my Q without a U, but because my twins are up to something. I sense danger. Then I hear it. It’s the unmistakeable sound of flesh on flesh, […]
Hilarious Family Moments
I Hear Movie Quotes…All the Time
There are two types of people in this world: people who like quoting movies and me. I can’t remember lines from movies. I’m occasionally decent with Shakespeare, but only because I’ve taught some of the Bard’s plays a dozen or more times. But when it comes to movies, I tank faster than a cruise ship […]
How To Be a Santa-Failure in 9 Easy Steps
I can fail at Advent calendars. I can fail at gingerbread houses. I can also fail as Santa’s apprentice. In the past 24-hours, I’ve managed the latter quite easily. ** Preamble 1: My school hosts a Santa party for the children of staff members. The only requirement – besides showing up – is to bring […]
Stop! What's Your Sign?
I’m cheating. I posted this two years ago today, when my blog was a newborn, crying for attention from a small audience. ** Today is Married To a Scorpio Support Day. That makes me laugh. Is there a support group for people married to bulls? (I mean the astrological sign – not the animal or […]
Send Your Child Scavenging . . . in the Dictionary
Alternate Title: Messing with Your Child’s Mind It’s Saturday night. Vivian has discovered the dictionary. She wants words to look up. I suggest clever. She looks it up, reads the definition, and smiles. My husband suggests geek, which isn’t in there. He throws out its slightly more popular cousin, nerd. A few words later, Vivian […]
Things I Suck At: Telling Jokes
There are a number of things I suck at. Doing anything crafty tops the list, followed by shopping and anything requiring opposable thumbs. Fourth is telling jokes. I recognize this is ironic-to-the-power-of-infinity given that I’m writing a humor book. I was reminded of this last night, when my husband and I were watching an episode […]
Would you rather have dinner table conversation with your kids or __?
Last night over dinner, we played a game of Would-You-Rather. It’s less stressful than watching all stages of the digestive process in action. The premise of Would-You-Rather is simple: you give one person a choice of two equally tempting options. Kind of like would you rather snog George Clooney or Colin Firth? Only this is […]
My Weekend in Tweets
Subtitle 1: Too Lazy-a$$ed To Write a Real Post Subtitle 2: Has Anyone Seen My Sense of Humour? It’s not much of a secret that I was at the Surrey International Writers’ Conference (#SiWC2011) this past weekend. I’ll blog more about the wow factor when I become coherent. With any luck, that will occur before […]
Bedtime Rhymes, Grimm Style
This summer, while spending a month at my parents’ house with William and Vivian, I learned that I’m not as much of a morning person as I think I am. I got used to my mom getting up with my kids and feeding them breakfast. I got used to sleeping in until 8:30. But that’s […]
Happy Make-More-Work-for-Mommy Day
. It’s bedtime. I’ve spent the past sixty minutes doing the following: sorting through kids’ dresser drawers and replacing summer tees with winter hoodies; hooking up lonesome socks congregating in a singles’ drawer; picking up books that have been flung by discus athletes-in-training; and removing embedded Lego pieces from my bare feet. A typical evening. […]