The year 2011 saw its fair share of beauty disasters. From me. Based on my own experiences, I can now speak with authority about The Dos and Don’ts of Beauty. DO buy a flat iron for your hair. DON’T use your flat iron for removing the wrinkles from the skirt you wear once a year. […]
Leanne Shirtliffe
NickMom.com: Realistic Endings to Children's Books
I’m having more fun than a bed bug in a mattress store writing for Nickelodeon’s new humor site, NickMom.com. Please check out my latest offering: Realistic Endings to Children’s Books. * What other titles can be reworked so they end “realistically”?
10 Years Ago Today
I stood in a New Zealand farm kitchen, stomach full of barbecued lamb, sobbing into my brother’s arms. I closed my eyes, shutting out the blinking Christmas lights surrounding his mother-in-law’s window. Our grandmother lay dying half a world away, near the end of a battle with Alzheimer’s that left her too exhausted to eat, […]
10 Items for Surviving a Family Vacation
Today I have a humor column in The Calgary Herald entitled, 10 Items for Family Vacation Survival. These are the pictures that ran in the print version. If you want to read the column, click on the link below: TEN ITEMS FOR FAMILY VACATION SURVIVAL Feel free to add what you need to survive a […]
A Naughty Letter to Santa from a Mom
A little fictional word play for you this Monday before Christmas. Enjoy! Dear Santa: I’m sorry I wasn’t naughty enough this year. I didn’t even get to the mall to do a little lap dance sit on your lap. I’m sure your endless shifts have made you sick of kids kicking you, asking you for […]
Things You Shouldn't Teach Your Children
It’s time for Search Ironic Mom, when I take real search terms that have led people to my blog and answer them as though they were real questions. TODAY’S SEARCH IRONIC MOM: IRONIC MOM ANSWERS: If you’re looking for things not to teach your children, I’m your woman. Here are five things I don’t recommend […]
Thing 1 & Thing 2 Take Saint Paul
If you’re new to my blog, I’d like to introduce you to Thing 1 and Thing 2 (pictured above). They often serve as symbols of my seven-year-old twins, Vivian and William. Thing 1 and Thing 2 – the miniature stuffed versions – have embarked on an around-the-world tour called Thing 1 and Thing 2’s Excellent […]
Bizarre Book Pairings
I adore found humor. To me, there is little that amuses me more than finding humor in the ordinary, in something you know hundreds of people have walked by and have failed to see. My favorite found humor in Calgary used to be this sign, outside a strip mall a mere ten minute drive from […]
I'm Sending You Snail Mail
I’ve always been a letter writer. When I was 8, I started scribing letters about which boy I liked, and I sent them to my cousin who lived 800 miles away. Over the decade my cousin and I wrote to each other, the boys changed, but the rest of the letters stayed pretty much the […]
10 Junie B. Jones Titles That Were Rejected
Vivian, my 7-year-old daughter, is devouring chapter books. She’s been through the Rainbow Magic series, Jigsaw Jones, Ivy and Bean, and Judy Moody. And the infamous Junie B. Jones. Now that I’m pitching my own book, I’m thinking about rejections. So here are ten Junie B. Jones titles that likely would have been rejected by […]