Yesterday, Thing One and Thing Two turned 6. It’s hard to believe it’s been half a dozen years since those two slime balls were pulled from my womb in a Bangkok hospital. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I called the night nurse at 4 a.m. and said, “Can you take them […]
twins
5 Great Memories of Mother’s Day Tea
I have to admit that I’m usually a skeptic about organized events for children. Whether it’s a birthday party, a visit to Santa Claus, or a play date, I feel like a tourist plopped into a foreign country without a travel guide. I was equally skeptical about the Mother’s Day Tea that was organized at […]
Retro Parenting: 5 Fun Phrases Our Parents Used
The return of 1980s fashion, from Vuarnets and blue eye shadow to legwarmers, has got me thinking about retro. In particular, retro parenting. Recently, I’ve been uttering phrases that my parents and grandparents used to quip when my siblings or I misbehaved. They may no longer be fashionable, but they’re fun. Here are my five […]
Compassion in Children
I think what I want most for my children — beyond having their basic needs met — is for them to be compassionate. During the past two weeks, as I’ve started to recover from pneumonia, I’ve witnessed a truckload of compassion from my five-year-old twins. It makes my heart sing. Each of my kids has […]
National That Sucks Day: a holiday designed for parents
Tomorrow is National That Sucks Day, a holiday created in honour of the day U.S. taxes are due, the day the Titanic sank, the anniversary of Lincoln’s assassination, and the day the first McDonald’s opened. But, ultimately, I believe National That Sucks Day is a day designed for parents. Here is an overview of a […]
Recovering Addicts, Celebrities, and Parenting
A strategy recovering addicts sometimes use when tempted to go back to their vice is “play the tape through to the end.” So if a recovering alcoholic is tempted to have “just a little sip” of bourbon, she needs to consciously go through what would happen as a result of her behaviour. In other words, […]
Sibling Rivalry, Friendship, and Twins
A frequent question I get asked is “Do your twins get along?” As with most twin questions, there is no truthful answer to this. If I’m annoyed, I say, “Sometimes.” If I’m in a rush, I say, “Yes.” And if I feel like chatting, I say, “Like an old married couple.” It might be a […]
Bowling with Children: A Spring Break(down) Tradition
Bowling seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t have high expectations. I simply hoped for a better result than last Spring Break, when Vivian melted down because her name was listed last on the monitor; when my husband finished in fourth place, behind me and two kids who still peed in their […]
5 Stupid Comments Made to Parents of Twins
Yesterday morning, on the endless five minute drive to my twins’ school, the kids took delight in using the word “stupid.” As soon as I told them it’s not a nice word, they started singing it, elongating the vowels and punctuating those with staccato bursts of laughter. Then last night, when I titled this blog, […]
Kindergarten, Planets, and Fist Fights
It’s not often my five-year-old twins end up in fisticuffs. For this I am thankful. It’s not that my refereeing abilities suck; it’s that if fighting were commonplace I’d have to actively parent. The boxing matches have started the past three nights, after the good night tuck in. Evidently, William and Vivian, each surrounded by […]