This is a post based on one I published in March 2010, when not even my mom read my blog. Enjoy. ~ Sometimes I think North American English is limited, especially when it comes to parenting. So, since I can’t borrow Colin Firth, I’m suggesting we adopt more British words. Let’s face it, English, the language […]
funny mom
When You Take Your Twins To Church…
I’m guest posting for my fab and sassy blog-sistah, Tamara Lunardo. Tamara is an amazing woman who writes beautifully about edgy issues, including sex, faith, and abuse. She’ll make you think. She’ll make you laugh. She also has twins and loves a juicy double entendre; I don’t think it’s cause and effect. Today, I’m honoured […]
Thing 1 & Thing 2 Wreak Mayhem (on TV) in England
After the stop on their European tour in Zurich with Evelynn Starr, Thing 1 and Thing 2 continued on their overseas tour this past month. They were hosted by the amazing Myfanwy, who adopted them and wrote thirteen entertaining posts about the mayhem they caused. Myfanwy lives in Fleet, Hampshire which is southwest of London. Let […]
When Your Twin Children Can Read Your Mind
The other day, Vivian told me that some of her friends have been arguing at recess. Being a good mother, I accused Vivi of being involved. After all, I’ve seen her and her brother go at it in some UFC mini-matches. “I wasn’t, Mom. Honestly,” she pleaded. “I just tried to stay out of the […]
Smushed Fingers, Basketball, and Money
I closed the car window on Vivian’s fingers yesterday. Nothing makes you feel more useless than hurting your own child. Except hurting someone else’s. Vivian got over it. After 30 minutes of crying and an hour of milking it for what she could, she was outside playing basketball with William. William invented a new game. […]
Pregnant Women, and Eating with the Addams Family
It’s Friday, a day synonymous with going out, or– if you’re a teacher or a parent – with falling asleep in front of the TV by nine o’clock. Before you fall asleep, feel free to hop around to some of my recent writing around the web. Pregnant Woman or Vegas Tourist looks at the similarities between […]
Twins, The Tooth Fairy, and Confused Parents
With my twins in Grade 2, I didn’t think there was much that could surprise me. In the seven years they’ve been alive, they’ve carved their names into the side of our minivan, put a garden hose down the basement vent (and turned on the water), and shoplifted from two different stores. But just like […]
5 Covers of Parenting Magazines, Annotated for Humor
Have you ever wanted to talk back to magazine headlines? Maybe I’m alone on this one, but I thought I’d share a little of the snark that goes on my head. ~ HEADLINE 1: “It’s Magical: Your child’s amazing capacity to think brilliant thoughts” ~ HEADLINE 2: “Conscious Parent: Being present for your children” ~ HEADLINE 3: […]
The Quest for a Christmas Tree
On a Saturday in December long ago, my dad and I drove into Winnipeg in search of a Christmas tree. The temperature hovered around minus thirty, and the wind, unimpeded from Hudson Bay, whipped through the Manitoba prairie. Driving east on the Trans-Canada highway, I was hypnotized by the snow swirling across the highway, […]
Beware of Playing Tag with Weapons
When Vivian and William were little, I was anti-gun and anti-fun, but I soon realized that there are plenty of legitimate ways for them to kill themselves that don’t require a locked up cabinet. Take yesterday. I was in a splendid mood. I had yet to embed a Lego figurine into the sole of my […]