In December 2009, prior to leaving on a trip to Arizona with our then five-year-old twins, I posted this piece. Now that it’s summer and many families are embarking on long flights or longer drives, I thought I’d post the piece again. If you’re looking for new content, check out Vivian’s “meen” notes to her […]
Ironic Mom
Insulting Your Teacher, Middle School Style
It is finished. The school year. I survived. So did my students. I will remember many things from this past year, including the students who – in hopes of a good grade – declared me “hotter” than Megan Fox. Sycophancy is alive and well, I’m happy to say. I will remember a group of students […]
I Am the DH: Being Married to Ironic Mom (Part I)
A couple of days ago, I asked my husband if he wanted to guest post, which in retrospect was akin to asking a pyromaniac if he wanted to play with a box of matches. My husband is the man who brought you the term “sniper fire” (referring to the speed at which beginner ice skaters […]
Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure
Today, I have an announcement. But in the tradition of the Academy Awards and long drum rolls, I’m going to delay making it. First, some history. THING 1 & THING 2: THE TIMELINE 2004: I’m pregnant with twins. My husband and I refer to our unborn babes as Alpha and Omega, Leftie and Rightie, and […]
Kids Using Google: The Cons
This past Sunday, I once again tried to sleep in beyond 6:30, the time when my seven-year-old twins opted to wake. “Just go play computer games,” I told Vivian. William was already safely absorbed in some violent cartoon on TV that was three inches from his face. Vivian left. The world was quiet, and the […]
Swooning, Devil Author, Twitter Parties, and James Rollins
I’ve long since had a fascination with authors. I listen to interviews with them, I read their books and bios, and I send them emails. Yes, I swoon, just a bit but sometimes more. Lately, I’ve been a bit forward about the swooning. In the past few months, I’ve had some conversations with authors I […]
Father's Day Failure
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while (say, since Monday), you’ll know that I’m not a contender for Mother-of-the-Year. Well, here’s a newsflash. I’m also not a contender for Wife-of-the-Year or Daughter-of-the-Year. No holiday makes that more obvious than Father’s Day. Here’s my evidence: I don’t send my dad a card or buy […]
Joke Telling and Kids
I love how kids tell jokes. It’s chaos theory at its best. From my unscientific observations, there are two initial stages of kids’ lack of development with regard to joke telling. Stage One: The Surreal Phase In the surreal phase, kids will tell jokes greatly influenced by the postmodern movement. These jokes tend to follow […]
Remembering School Dances and the Uncertainty of Adolescence
The 1980s I loved getting ready for school dances. My best friend, C, and I would try on outfits, style each other’s hair, and apply make-up. This was unusual for us since we were jocks. Our normal school attire consisted of jeans, sweatshirts, runners, and barrettes or ponytails. Playing dress-up was fun, even if we […]
Parenting Techniques That Guarantee Kids Will Need Therapy
I don’t read parenting books. They simultaneously bore and annoy me, like watching the Canucks play in Boston. The last thing I want to do when I finally lasso my seven-year-old twins to their beds (besides watch Luongo let in another goal) is read Perfect Parenting for Dummies. I already know I’m an idiot when […]