Last week, this “guy” named Bill Sergott–who I’d seen around the internet before–left a comment on my post, When Your Child Wonders What Age To Have a Baby, Ask Facebook that took by breath away. Within the first paragraph I could tell that he was witty, intelligent (Hello, String Theory), as well as a loving […]
parenting
The Horrors of Minigolfing with Children
If you’ve minigolfed with young children, you’re likely aware that it’s a dangerous activity that could require hospitalization. To read about the mini-putt injuries we sustained when Vivian and William were four years old, please go to my humour column, which was published in yesterday’s Calgary Herald. Click here: Minigolfing with Kids: A Bad Idea. […]
10 Signs of Summer, Literally
In the past couple months, I’ve collected some signs that have made me smile: Signs of Summer, if you will. Here are 10 of them. Sign 1: Graffiti in a Private School Bathroom (Final Exam Week) Sign 2: The Front Page of The Calgary Herald Sign 3: The Placement of James Rollins’ Book at Indigo […]
When Your Child Wonders What Age She Can Have a Baby, Ask Facebook
Last week, seven-year-old Vivian was back at it, peppering me with questions about God, sperm banks, and babies. This is why I don’t home school, I thought. From September to June, I can rely on her classmates to give the wrong answer; in July and August, however, it’s up to me. So when Vivian asked […]
The Ironic Restaurant
The Ironic Restaurant reopened last week, with Vivian once again serving as the waitress, chef, and owner. She made her way around the room, taking our orders with an accent that could have been charged roaming fees. “What vould you like to drink?” she asked her dad. He looked up from his crossword. “What do […]
Adult Doodling Gone Wrong
I like to doodle, not because it’s a skill I possess, but because my hands seem to belong to another body, gesticulating wildly when I speak. Doodling sometimes contains them. The other day, my mom, dad and I were having our nightly, pre-dinner game of cribbage. While waiting for my mom to deal me a […]
Disastrous School Lunches
For many parents, the month of June heralds the end of school lunches. For me, this means the Hallelujah Chorus plays on a repeat loop in my head. It’s a glorious time not to have to scour the pantry, only to come up with cans of chick peas, as Elena Aitken joked about this week. […]
Kids Using Google: The Cons
This past Sunday, I once again tried to sleep in beyond 6:30, the time when my seven-year-old twins opted to wake. “Just go play computer games,” I told Vivian. William was already safely absorbed in some violent cartoon on TV that was three inches from his face. Vivian left. The world was quiet, and the […]
Father's Day Failure
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while (say, since Monday), you’ll know that I’m not a contender for Mother-of-the-Year. Well, here’s a newsflash. I’m also not a contender for Wife-of-the-Year or Daughter-of-the-Year. No holiday makes that more obvious than Father’s Day. Here’s my evidence: I don’t send my dad a card or buy […]
The Birthday Party, by the numbers
If you’re a sports fan, you’ll know numbers don’t lie (especially if you cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs). Here are the numbers from William and Vivian’s 7th birthday party, which I bravely hosted yesterday. 10: Kids in attendance, including my own 2: Kids I temporarily lost sight of at the playground (including William) 5: […]