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Leanne Shirtliffe

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twins

The Ironic Restaurant

The Ironic Restaurant reopened last week, with Vivian once again serving as the waitress, chef, and owner. She made her way around the room, taking our orders with an accent that could have been charged roaming fees. “What vould you like to drink?” she asked her dad. He looked up from his crossword. “What do […]

Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure: Stop 1=Tennessee!

Earlier in July, Thing 1 & Thing 2 had the first stop in their around the world adventure. They were hosted by the generous and hilarious Jessica Buttram, who writes beautifully at Meet the Buttrams. The things went by airmail in a padded envelope from Calgary, Alberta to Knoxville, Tennessee (2922 kms/1816 miles). If you’re […]

10 Examples of Vacation Weirdness

My twins and I tend to spend most of July at my parents’ house in Manitoba. My husband joins us for a week, then hightails it back to Calgary, where he is now. I love being a kid again. And I’m lucky: being at my parents’ house is comfortable and easy. But the first week […]

Ode To Bizarre Interviews

I love bizarre interviews, maybe because weird questions make me feel closer to normal. My first interview was over at Knox McCoy’s blog and focused on this writing thing I do. Today, I am thrilled to be featured by Ellie Ann Soderstrom at her blog. I’m wearing my other hat, that of teacher. When I […]

If your kids want a pet, lie

This week’s post-from-the-archives originally appeared in November 2009; it marked only the seventh time I hit publish. Vivian and William, of course, are now 7, and they still talk about getting a pet. They also talk about flying to the moon on a broomstick. My 5-year-old twins desperately want a pet. They’d love a cat, […]

Car Travel Games (a.k.a. Hit Your Head Repeatedly against the Window)

We recently drove 800 miles with our seven-year-old twins. We’re lucky; our kids are good travelers. Throw a DVD on repeat play, and they’ll stare at the screen without noticing our Loser Cruiser came inches from killing Bambi’s mom. Every now and then, though, Guilty Mother Syndrome (GMS) hits me. I shut off the DVD […]

Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure

Today, I have an announcement. But in the tradition of the Academy Awards and long drum rolls, I’m going to delay making it. First, some history. THING 1 & THING 2: THE TIMELINE 2004: I’m pregnant with twins. My husband and I refer to our unborn babes as Alpha and Omega, Leftie and Rightie, and […]

Disastrous School Lunches

For many parents, the month of June heralds the end of school lunches. For me, this means the Hallelujah Chorus plays on a repeat loop in my head. It’s a glorious time not to have to scour the pantry, only to come up with cans of chick peas, as Elena Aitken joked about this week. […]

Kids Using Google: The Cons

This past Sunday, I once again tried to sleep in beyond 6:30, the time when my seven-year-old twins opted to wake. “Just go play computer games,” I told Vivian. William was already safely absorbed in some violent cartoon on TV that was three inches from his face. Vivian left. The world was quiet, and the […]

Kids Using Google: The Pros

Just over a week ago, while I was sleeping in, seven-year-old Vivian wrote and self-published a book. It was Sunday. My husband had left for work, William was watching cartoons, and Vivian was bored. Because I’m a good mother and had been out until 1 a.m., I told her to go play computer games. I […]

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