I love how kids tell jokes. It’s chaos theory at its best. From my unscientific observations, there are two initial stages of kids’ lack of development with regard to joke telling. Stage One: The Surreal Phase In the surreal phase, kids will tell jokes greatly influenced by the postmodern movement. These jokes tend to follow […]
twins
Parenting Techniques That Guarantee Kids Will Need Therapy
I don’t read parenting books. They simultaneously bore and annoy me, like watching the Canucks play in Boston. The last thing I want to do when I finally lasso my seven-year-old twins to their beds (besides watch Luongo let in another goal) is read Perfect Parenting for Dummies. I already know I’m an idiot when […]
Math, Kids, and Fidelity
I like giving my kids math problems. It’s comedy in action. When Vivian and William were five, I blogged about fun-with-math. I wrote: A couple of years ago, in a good parenting moment, I started playing math with them while driving. I gave them number problems, and they figured out the answer (or not). The […]
I Hope: a birthday letter to my 7-year-old twins
Dearest William and Vivian, Today you turn 7. Happy Birthday, my darlings. I hope you think being 6 has been a lot of fun. You know I’m not good at the big things. I’m not good at planning birthday parties, taking you on a zillion outings (or even two—unless they involve a bookstore and a […]
When Irony Ruins Your Day
I’m starting to think I have irony tattooed on my forehead. Either that or naive. Or idiot. Take your pick. Before I share greater irony than even Alanis could wail about, please click the link below to read the humor column that I wrote. It was published in The Calgary Herald this morning. It has […]
Babies, Monkeys, and Bangkok
We were leaving the chaos of Bangkok for the chaos of the Thai countryside. Inside our ubiquitous white tourist van were a driver, my in-laws, my husband, and our four-month-old twins. It was our kids’ longest journey; from our apartment in Bangkok it was a four hour drive south to a semi-private beach near Prachuap […]
When Sisters Act As Mothers
At least once a day, I find myself saying this to Vivian: Sometimes, when I’m in the lecturing mood, I follow this up with this: “You’re his sister. You’re on his team. Defend him.” Conversations like this happen after Vivian alerts me (and scolds William) about not washing his hands, practicing piano with his feet, […]
The Challenges of Showering When You Have Kids
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve read a number of blog posts that refer to showering. Kelly from Dances With Chaos blogged about her 18-month-old being booted out of her gym’s childcare. This unjust suspension took away Kelly’s only chance of showering. Larry from Christian in the Rough mentioned that many of his best […]
5 Ways Blogging Is Like Parenting
When I launched this blog 17 months ago, my first post was entitled “How Starting a Blog is Like Having Twins.” Now, 170 posts later, I feel like I’ve been living in Blogville for a while. In fact, because the world of blogging is relatively new compared to when Neanderthals grunted their way around, I […]
Surviving the First Week with Newborns
Just over a week ago, my new blogging buddy, Rob Shep and his lovely wife Monica, celebrated the birth of twins. Their son Hayden has been home for a bit, and yesterday their daughter Reese was discharged from the hospital. This post is a Welcome Home message for all of them. And a walk down […]