It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to Julie. A mild-mannered accountant from 9-5, Julie’s Frayn’s writer alter-ego comes to life in the off hours. When she isn’t counting beans or making things up in her head, she is mother to two perfect adults. Julie’s first novel, Suicide City, A Love Story, can be found on Smashwords and Amazon. […]
Whiteboard Wednesday
A Lesson in Country Circumcision
I am thrilled to have Jenny Fiore guest posting today. Jenny is a freelance writer in Wisconsin and narrowly survived two colicky babies. She loves choreographed Kung Fu sequences, Oliver Sacks, primitive camping, and wine. She currently blogs at TheMomplex.net. Her first book, After Birth: Unconventional Writings from the Mommylands (Possibilities Publishing), will be released in March 2013. […]
I Do Not Look Like Mater
It’s the first of my Whiteboard Wednesday Guest Posters! I’m thrilled to introduce you to Wendy Bradford. She is a writer, wife, and New York City mama of twins plus one. She blogs with honesty, humor, and gratitude at Mama One to Three and at Huffington Post. She is also the director of social media for Mommybites. She is always […]
Whiteboard Wednesday: The Taste Bud Edition
We’re eating dinner, which consists of sausages baked in the oven because our barbecue is buried under snow. These aren’t the usual sausages we cook, the ones that come wrapped tightly in industrial plastic from a supermarket the size of Saskatchewan. These are from-a-butcher sausages, which means they have flavour. William inhales his ketchup with […]
There Goes That Parent-of-the-Year Nomination
Here’s a new edition of Did-I-Really-Say-That-Aloud? Sunday afternoon William is watching an animal show on TV, learning more facts about aardvarks than any 7-year-old should know. I am in the time-out chair reading a book. This is minute three of quiet time. “Mom,” Vivian says. “I need some attention.” “Seriously? I’ve spent all day with […]
Twins, The Tooth Fairy, and Confused Parents
With my twins in Grade 2, I didn’t think there was much that could surprise me. In the seven years they’ve been alive, they’ve carved their names into the side of our minivan, put a garden hose down the basement vent (and turned on the water), and shoplifted from two different stores. But just like […]
How To Drive Your Parents To Drink
When I tweeted this, I likely should’ve shut my computer. To be fair, the ball wasn’t exactly a volleyball. It was a globe. An inflatable one. Vivian and William were using the sofa that divides the kitchen from the living room as a net. And they were spiking. Meanwhile, I was drinking club soda from […]
What Happens When You Don't Think Before You Speak
It’s dinner time. Vivian, a.k.a Princess Squirm-a-lot, is doing her pommel horse routine on her chair. She hoofs me mid-performance, plops down facing me, and grins, all while chewing her burger. I return her smile. “Stop sitting sidesaddle,” I say. Vivian looks down at her legs and back at me. “Mary sat sidesaddle.” I scan […]
Beware of Playing Tag with Weapons
When Vivian and William were little, I was anti-gun and anti-fun, but I soon realized that there are plenty of legitimate ways for them to kill themselves that don’t require a locked up cabinet. Take yesterday. I was in a splendid mood. I had yet to embed a Lego figurine into the sole of my […]
When Kids Write Jokes
On Monday, Vivian and William went on a joke telling spree. Thankfully they seem to have slightly more talent in this department than their mother. After ten minutes of variations on the chicken-crossing-the-road joke, Vivian freestyled. VIVIAN: Why did the mommy cross the road? ME: VIVIAN: Close. Because she wanted to hug her children. ME: […]